WordS,WordS,WordS...

Come and Get It!!

2011-12-23T09:13:00.001+08:00

Cinta

2011-10-28T16:33:00.003+08:00

Jantung aku masih berdegup kencang. Sekencang ketika kali pertama dia menegur aku dahulu. Tergamam seketika kerana memang aku tak sangka dia ingin berkenalan dengan aku sedangkan ramai lagi kawan-kawan aku yang jauh lebih cantik. Sedar tak sedar, sudah lebih 2 tahun usia perkenalan kami dan sepanjang 2 tahun tersebut, kami memang kerap berjumpa dan banyak cerita tentang dirinya yang dikongsi denganku.

Hari ini tiada bezanya. Aku masih tersenyum lebar, selebar senyuman yang ku lemparkan padanya ketika dia menjemput aku lebih kurang 5 jam yang lalu. Aku menoleh sepintas lalu ke arah jam di dinding. Waktu sudah pukul 3 pagi tetapi aku masih belum mengantuk. Sebenarnya aku memang tidak mahu melelapkan mata setiap kali kami berjumpa kerana aku sangat takut dia akan hilang apabila aku bangun dan aku takut tak akan dapat berjumpa dengannya lagi.

Sambil duduk di atas sofa dengan tubuh dibaluti jubah mandi, aku memandangnya yang tengah nenyak tidur dibuai mimpi. Memang tak jemu memandang wajahnya yang kacak dan tubuhnya yang sasa. Dia juga seorang yang baik hati. Selalu sabar mendengar aku bercerita tentang kehidupan harian aku dan sentiasa menasihati aku untuk tabah menghadapi kehidupan walaupun dilanda pelbagai masalah.

Keadaan sunyi di luar menyebabkan aku tiba-tiba merasa sayu dan tanpa aku sedari airmataku mengalir laju membasahi pipiku. Aku cintakan dia.

Aku mendekatinya perlahan-lahan dan berbaring disebelahnya sambil menggenggam tangannya. Terasa selamat sekali.

Tidak lama kemudian, dia bangun dan terus menyarung pakaian. Aku juga menuruti perbuatannya.

Usai berpakaian, dia memandang aku,

“Eh, you menangis ke? Is something wrong?”

Aku hanya menggelengkan kepala sambil tersenyum.

“Jom, I hantar you. You nak balik rumah ke?”

“Belum lagi. Hantar I ke tempat biasa je.”

“Okay. Eh, sebelum I lupa. I belum bayar you lagi untuk malam tadikan?” katanya sambil menyeluk kocek seluar. Beberapa keping not RM50 diserahkan kepadaku.

“Same time next week?”

Aku mula menghitung saat sebelum aku dapat bersamanya kembali.

(23/8/2011)

Between Then and Now

2011-06-30T12:54:00.008+08:00

It was just another Saturday. One of the many that they have shared together since they first knew each other.

But somehow, unlike the rest, this Saturday was different. There was a certain heaviness in the air. An unsettled awkwardness that neither of them wanted to address or maybe was just simply too cowardly to.

He sipped his coffee in silence and occasionally took long, slow drag on his cigarette while she nibbled on her vanilla muffin and looked pass him, feigning interest at nothing. Neither was looking at the other.

After what seemed like an eternity, she took a deep breath and slowly moved her gaze and looked straight into his eyes. He stared back at her and instinctively touched her hand. Each saw in the others' eyes what they expected to see.

At that brief moment, she again contemplated telling him what she had come to tell him that day but ultimately decided against it when he said what he said next.

"I think I really do love him and I can't deny who I am anymore. Please be happy for me."

She knew then that there was nothing left to be said and that was the end of them, whatever it was.

She gathered her stuff, stood up and gave him a light kiss on the cheek. She had turned and started to walk away when she felt it move. Patting her belly, she said softly,

"Shhh... Mommy's still here. Everything's going to be okay."

(25 Apr 2011)

Waiting

2011-04-25T09:52:00.002+08:00

It has been a year since he first decided to make it a point to stand across the road from the Bar Council's office at the same time everyday.

Nobody knows why he does it. Nobody cares. Even his wife has stopped talking to him.

Thinking about his dear, sweet wife always brings tears to him eyes. He loves her, she loved him and they were happy.

Nobody knows it but him. Nobody even bothered to ask why he's there but he understands and he has never expected anything more than to be left alone.

For the past year, he would see the familiar faces of those who work in the surrounding area. Going in and out of their respective offices, crossing the busy Leboh Pasar Besar, chit-chatting and having lunch at the quaint Seng Nam kopitiam.

But despite all that, he has yet to cross path with the one face that has been and always will be etched in his mind. The one person he has spent all this time waiting for.

He doesn't know yet what he'll do if and when he meets him, What do you say, really, to the person who takes your happiness away from you in the worst possible way? What do you do?

Maybe he'll just walk off the curb, straight in front of the same oncoming bus that the same person may be driving again. He'll make himself visible one last time and maybe this time, the driver will see him.

Until then, he'll be there waiting at the same time, same place, every day, while re-reading one particular headline from last year in his mind, "Man Died in a Hit and Run".

Orang Baik-baik

2011-04-21T15:45:00.004+08:00

Cerita belum habis tapi aku ingin pulang. Bukan sebab cerita tidak bagus tetapi sebab malam makin lewat. Aku harus pulang awal bukan sebab curfew tetapi kerana aku di Bangsar Shopping Complex dan aku harus pulang ke Gombak.

Aku datang menaiki LRT jadi aku harus pulang naik LRT dan LRT bukan 24 jam. Aku tak mahu naik teksi sebab mahal. Lagipun aku takut dan aku tak yakin teman aku boleh melindungi aku.

Sejurus cerita tamat, kami keluar. Keadaan sunyi. Untuk ke LRT Bangsar kami harus ambil teksi sebab bas pengantara sudah habis operasi. Di tempat tunggu teksi ada 2 orang perempuan. Juga tunggu teksi, mungkin.

Tiba satu teksi, mereka bangun. Tiba-tiba mereka tanya:
“Nak pergi mana?”
“LRT Bangsar”
“Kitorang pun sama. Jomlah.”

Rasa sedikit lega sebab mungkin sempat kejar LRT terakhir tetapi malang, dah terlepas. Aku buntu. Tiba-tiba 2 orang perempuan tadi tanya lagi:
“Balik mana?”
“Gombak”
“Jom kongsi teksi ke Wangsa Maju, ambil kereta kitorang dan kitorang hantar ke Gombak.”

Perasaan bercampur baur. Rasa lega sebab ada orang nak hantar balik tapi aku juga rasa risau dan sedikit takut sebab aku tak kenal mereka. Mungkin mereka berniat jahat. Kenapa begitu mudah untuk menumpangkan orang yang tak dikenali? Macam mana kalau aku dan teman perompak atau pembunuh? Tidak takutkah mereka?

Akhirnya kami tumpang juga kerana perasaan untuk balik lebih kuat daripada perasaan takut. Lagipun, mereka nampak macam orang baik-baik. Dan sebenarnya mereka memang orang baik kerana kami selamat sampai ke destinasi kami. Yang tak selamat hanyalah hubungan aku dan teman aku.

Picture Perfect

2011-03-22T14:06:00.004+08:00

(Annual Dinner & Dance 2011, 12.3.2011)

Not bad for a hobo sewer rat eh? Hehe

Thanks to a very talented photographer, Anis, who managed to capture how I looked like in my mind ;) xoxo

Picture Purr-fect

2011-03-17T13:39:00.004+08:00

Eh, eh... What do you think you're doing?? Are you trying to touch me? I don't think so!

Vengeance

2010-12-29T11:14:00.009+08:00

I have recently cut my hair real short in an attempt to cute-sify my look. To look fresh and vibrant as oppose to looking like I had attached a malnourish horse's tail to the back of my head.

I also thought that a shorter hair would be more manageable as my hair is crazy wavy. Not the soft feminine goddess-like wavy hair but more like "Poseidon has just gotten his first trident and is trying out its power creating waves so turbulent that even fishes drown" kinda wavy hair.

When I was much younger, I had always wanted to keep my hair long in a futile attempt to look more girly I suppose.

I distinctly remember when I was 8 and the school holiday was coming to an end. I had managed to avoid having my haircut during the 3 weeks holidays and had grown my hair longer than usual. I was damn proud of my 'long hair' and believed I looked like a fairy tale princess although now, thinking back I think I probably look more like a hobo sewer rat with it's fur unwashed for eternity plus 1.

My mom, failing to see the contorted image I had conjured of myself, thought it would be the best idea ever to cut my crazy, unamanageable hair short for school. I threw a tantrum so bad at the salon that everybody stared and I think I even manage to convince the hairdresser that a part of me had died every time she cut an inch of my hair off. Needless to say, my mom was not happy with me.

Which is why, it surprises even me to find out how much I love my new short do'. I felt like a million bucks the moment I step out from the salon. As if every eyes were fixed on me and they are ooh-ing and aah-ing at how wonderfully glam my hair looks. Finally, I think I might have just found a way to make peace with my hair. Like maybe, it has outgrown its rebellious adolescent 'everybody is out to get me' stage and became more mature, like me.

But my happiness was short-lived. I had mistook my lock's tameness as a sign of maturity or even maybe all those exasperated insult, begging, threatening and bribing I always throw at it is finally sinking it. Little did I know that it is merely biding its time to come back with a vengeance.

The transformation was subtle and went unnoticed. Like when a caterpillar transforms into a chrysalis/pupa and remained dormant until it metamorphosed into a beautiful butterfly. Instead, my crazy adolescent hair metamorphosed into a mad demonic hair from the abyss of hell.

As I stare at myself in the mirror this morning and saw someone with a hairdo that would make medusa's hair look like puppies, I give up.

And I'm pretty sure I heard my hair saying "Haha, gotcha sucker! No amount of hair serum and styling thingamajig could make me succumb to your wishes!"

Secretly in Love

2010-12-22T09:26:00.002+08:00

I woke up
To the soothing pitter patter of rain
Upon the rooftop
Falling steadily, softly at first
But surely
Of that I was certain

(I watched, captivated
At the first drop of rain
As it slides
Across the dusty window
So calming
Almost ethereal)

I opened the windows
Slightly
And felt the gush of cold wind
Upon my warm skin
So refreshing
With eyes closed
Quietly enjoying
In the comfort of privacy

With the fire in the fireplace
Burning so fiercely
Keeping me warm
I opened the windows
Even more so
Bringing with it
The mist of raindrops
So intoxicating

So intoxicating that I failed to notice
The flickering fire
Threatening to burn out
With every breath
Of the cooling breeze that I take
As I held my hand out
Through the window
So very tempted
To run out
And dance in the rain

As the cold began to wrap itself
Upon my willing body
The rain subsided
And finally stopped
As sudden as how it started
Reluctantly, I pulled the windows close
So sad that it has passed
And returned to the warm embrace
Of the fire burning in the fireplace
Though fragile and mortal
Always there, nonetheless.

MY (1st) VIETNAM DISCOVERY

2010-08-17T08:28:00.005+08:00

DAY 1: KL-HANOI, 19 JUNE 2010, SATURDAY

The day finally arrived for our trip to Vietnam. Puspa and I left Malaysia at about 10.40am by Malaysia Airlines and 3 hours later we landed at the Noi Bai International Airport Hanoi. The time difference was about 1 hour so it was roughly about 12.40pm in Hanoi (1.40pm Malaysian time).

The first thing we had to do was get to Hanoi city centre, which is about an hour away from the airport. We have decided that we would stay somewhere around the old French Quarters area because that is where most of the cheap accommodations are and because it is within the town centre.When I asked the information counter at the airport on what options are available to get to town, she immediately suggested we take a taxi and said that nothing else was available.

If it had not been for the Lonely Planet guidebook that a friend had lent us, we would probably have taken a taxi as taxi drivers are everywhere at the airport, peddling their services the moment we step out of the arrival gate, thus making them the easier choice though not necessarily the best or the cheapest. Instead we took the Vietnam Airlines shuttle service, which is available for going to and from the airport and she only told us about the shuttle when I asked her about them. However, finding them is a bit tricky, as it is not parked near the main entrance but towards the end of the building. I suppose that is why not many tourist took it. But it was worth it as it only costs us USD2 per person whereas a taxi would have costs us about USD20-30.

(Muka puas hati)

The shuttle dropped us of at a Vietnam Airlines office a few blocks away from the Old Quarters and since it wasn't too far from where we were, we decided to walk despite feeling a bit disoriented. We walked for about 15-20 minutes in a maze of beautiful, French influenced buildings before we finally reached the Hoan Kiem lake, which is opposite the Old Quarters.

We hadn't booked any hotel but Puspa had surveyed online on the accommodation options around the area and after a bit of walking and looking around, we decided to stay at Hanoi Lucky Hotel. For USD16 per night, it was quite a bargain as the room was clean and spacious with 2 queen size beds, a bathroom with water heater, a computer with free internet access, electric kettle and TV. But all shows are in Vietnamese; even foreign shows are dubbed with Vietnamese with only 1 person doing the voice for every character, which I find amusing!

Once we checked in, we rested a bit before going out again and since we had quite a heavy meal on the plane, we decided to skip lunch.

Our stop was the Temple of Literature. We got the local map of Hanoi from the hotel and the places of interest didn't seem too far apart from one another so we thought, let's walk. But it turns out that that wasn't the best decision as it was summer in Vietnam and the temperature was soaring. To make matter worse, we got lost a couple of times so it took us longer than it normally does to get to the Temple of Literature and by the time we got there, we were drenched in sweat and dead tired.

However, we did get to experience what it was like to walk around town in Hanoi, which is, frankly speaking, quite a nightmare. First of all, there are motorbikes everywhere (motorbikes out numbers other forms of transportation) and second of all; Vietnamese drivers don't actually abide by the traffic light. It would seem as if they come from every direction possible making it almost impossible to cross streets. If you want to wait for the cars, motorbikes, bicycles, cyclos etc. to come to a complete stop before you cross the street, chances are you are never going to get to the other side. So, how does the Vietnamese cross the street then, you ask? Very simple. They glance slightly both way (sometimes they don't even look) and just start crossing the street on their own pace and they never dash across (so that motorbikes can figure out how to avoid running into them) even if there is a massive traffic coming their way. Heart-stopping.

Anyway, the Temple of Literature or Van Mieu as it is known in Vietnamese was initially built as a Confucian temple modeled after Confucius' birthplace in China.

A few years later, Vietnam's first university was established within the temple's compound. However, that university was only meant to educate Vietnamese elite.

Despite the university operating for 700 hundred years, only a handful of students passed the final examinations because it was so difficult and names of these graduates were written on stone steles and then placed on stone tortoises. Some of the still remaining steles are displayed here.

Now, the temple's courtyard and the surrounding park is a pretty happening recreational place for the locals. When we were there, we saw people playing badminton, football (world cup fever :P) , walking their dogs or just hanging out with friends and families.

The admission fee to the temple is VND10,000 which is about RM2.00.

When we were done at the temple, it was close to 6.00pm and most museum closes between 4.30pm to 5.00pm so we called it a day. It was already dark when we reached the hotel as again, we got a little bit lost on the way back.

However, while we were lost we stumbled upon the Loa Ho prison or 'Hanoi Hilton' as it was nicknamed during the Vietnam War because American POW's were kept there. The prison was built by the French during their colonization period to imprison and execute Vietnamese. Since it was way late and the museum was already closed, I only managed to take a blurry picture from outside thought at that time I didn't know what it was.

By the time we got back to the hotel, we were so exhausted and were so ready to jump into bed but not before having dinner. Luckily, there are plenty of affordable places to eat around the area where we were staying. We ended up eating just next door a dinner of seafood fried rice, our first meal in Vietnam.

Interview with Sunny the Sun Bear aka Malayan Sun Bear (part 2)

2010-08-04T09:47:00.006+08:00

Me : Being in a country where people absolutely love to eat, I'm sure the readers would like to know your favourite food.
Sunny : My favourite food? Hmmm... that's a bit difficult to answer because I love to eat. We sun bears are omnivores which means we eat plants as well as meat but basically our diet consists of fruits, berries, roots, insects, small birds, lizards, rodents and also the occasional termites. But my favourite I would have to say fruits. It is a much healthier alternative. Oh, and I absolutely love honey.

Me : Where and how do you get honey?
Sunny : Well, if you notice, I have a very long tongue, which I can use to get honey from beehives. That is why we are also known as "honey bear".

Me : You sure have a lot of nicknames.
Sunny : Hahaha... yes we do.

Me : So, what's a typical day for you like?
Sunny: Well, I don't go out much especially during the day. That is when I catch up on my sleep. I usually go out at night to gather food because I think it's safer and I won't bump into humans. I am very shy.

Me : Do you live with your family?
Sunny : No. I used to live with my mother but now I live on my own. I am already 4 years old. But I live nearby her just to keep an eye on her.

Me : Where do you live at the moment?
Sunny : I like to sleep on big trees because it is safe and I used to live on this one big, cosy tree not too far from here but not anymore. Some humans had cut it down. I think they've built some human houses there.

Me : I'm sure there are other nice big trees.
Sunny : There used to be. Lots of them but those were also cut down and then human moved there. It is not really a good idea to live near them even if they have lots of food so I moved further into the jungle though it's not really a jungle anymore.

Me : Why did you say that it is not a very good idea to live near humans? You say so yourself that they have a lot of food. Isn't that good?
Sunny : No it is not. Humans are very dangerous to us. They can hurt us and even kill us. I heard that some of them even eat us. We are very scared of humans.

Me : I see. But I think humans are also scared of bears. I mean, look at those claws you have.
Sunny : Maybe but bears don't actually use their claws to hurt people. We use them to climb trees. They are very useful for that.

Me : Wow, those claws look very sharp and dangerous. Maybe you want to keep it away or something.
Sunny : Actually, our claws are not retractable but don't worry, I won't hurt you if you don't hurt me. We are a peace-loving species.

Me : In your opinion, what are the major factors that contribute to the decline of your family's population?
Sunny : Well, as I have mentioned before, our habitat and homes are being demolished by humans to make way for developments and settlements. As a result, our food source becomes scarce so we have no choice but to take food from humans. I think that's fair considering they have taken our homes but they certainly don't think so. So, they will capture us and sometimes even kill us, like I have mentioned before.

Me : That is very sad and unfair.
Sunny : Yes, it is. On top of that, we are also hunted for our body parts. I think humans use it for medicinal purposes and sometimes, female bears are killed because humans want the cubs as pets, just like what happened to my cousin.

Me : Wow, bears have a very difficult life.
Sunny : We do. That is why I agreed to do this interview even though I am afraid of humans. I want everybody to know about us and our life so that they will leave us alone and stop hurting us because we never hurt anybody intentionally. So to all readers, please stop hurting us and please help protect us. Help me spread this message.

Me : We will definitely help in any way that we can. I guess that's all for now. Thank you again for agreeing to do this interview and for sharing your interesting life with the readers.
Sunny : You are most welcome. And thank you to you too for helping us to highlight our concerns and the issues and problems that affects our lives and bringing it to the public's attention.

Interview with Sunny the Sun Bear aka Malayan Sun Bear

2010-06-02T17:08:00.013+08:00

Me: First of all, thank you for agreeing to do this interview. I know how much you dislike all this attention.
Sunny: No problem. It's my pleasure to be invited to do this interview because I am not doing this for myself but for the entire sun bear population everywhere. As you know, we are on the fast road to extinction. Currently we are on the vulnerable list.

Me: That is one of the reason for this interview, to create awareness amongst public of your plight but we'll get to that shortly. First, let's get people to know you better.
Sunny: Sure, fire away.

Me: Okay. Sunny, you are called a sun bear. Is it because you like the sun, like maybe you like to sun bathe or
something?
Sunny: Hahaha... I think a lot of people have that misconception about us because of our name and because our fur is so dark in colour that they think that maybe we love to bask in the sun, but no. In fact, I am more of a night bear. The truth is we are called a sun bear because of this patch of golden fur on our chest. My grandmother told me that legend has it that this patch of fur is believed to represent the rising sun, hence the name sun bear.

Me: So, does every sun bear have this golden patch on his or her chest?
Sunny: Well yes, but sometimes it can also be a white patch. Personally, I think the golden one looks better, but that's just me...

Me: Okay, next question. Tell us, where's your family from?
Sunny: My sun bear family, which is the smallest of the extended bear family, lives mainly in dense lowland forests all over Southeast Asia including southern China, eastern India and also Indonesia. As for me, I was born in Malaysia but I'm thinking of moving.

Me: Oh, do you have somewhere in particular in mind?
Sunny: I don't know yet. I'm thinking about getting in touch with my extended bear family all over the world like my cousins the panda bears and the polar bears. That would be interesting.

Me: I bet it would. Sunny, earlier you spoke about the origins of the name sun bear but I just remembered I read somewhere that sun bears are sometimes called "dog bear". Why is that? Are you in any way related to dogs?
Sunny: Not that I know of. What I do know is that we got this particular nickname due to the way our bodies are build, you know, stocky, muscular, small ears and short muzzle. I guess we kind of look like dogs but of course cuter.

Me: Hahaha... That sounds pretty vain...
Sunny: Hahaha... I don't like to brag but I think my sleek black coat of fur is absolutely gorgeous. Not only does it look beautiful, it is also very useful to protect us from twigs, branches and rain because it is quite thick and course but short enough to keep us from overheating in the tropical weather that we live in.

Me: How do you take care of it?
Sunny: I try to spend as much time grooming myself. I also try to bath regularly to keep the natural shine from fading and I try to avoid rubbing myself against anything too rough as it would fade the colour of my fur and could also cause balding. I know that because it happened to one of my cousin who was kept as a pet in a nearby village from where I live and she kept rubbing herself against the cage. Soon, her once extremely beautiful fur had turned all brown with bald patches. She also got sores on her skin.

Me: That's really sad.
Sunny: Yes it is. Sometimes, we try to go visit her and sometimes we even try to help her escape but we haven't been successful. Her mother misses her very much.

Me: I wish you all the luck with that.
Sunny: Thank you. We all miss her very much and hope that she can come home soon. Next question?

To be continued...

Happy Mother's Day

2010-05-10T08:47:00.000+08:00

To those who didn't think to celebrate their mother, I hope you will realize what a luxury it is to be able to do that, before it is too late..

Happy Mother's Day to all mothers all over the world!

My Balls Are Gone

2010-04-20T14:38:00.006+08:00

I have seen her around here a couple of times. In fact, I think she has purposely been going by my house, especially in the mornings and evenings when it's time for my workout sessions, which I always do in the front yard of my house. I like to keep fit.

I think she lives a couple of houses away from me. I have never seen her before so I think she must have just moved here. I did see a moving truck a couple of weeks ago.

We have never talked to each other but I have a feeling that she kind of likes me. Every time she walks by, I can see that she would take brief glances at my house because I think that she wanted to see if I'm there. Sometimes, I would purposely stay out of sight just to confirm my suspicion and true enough, when she realized that I am not there as always, she'd stop and scan my garden with her beautiful green eyes. Sometimes, I would come out of hiding and pretend to be surprised but she is one bold girl. She won't even blush or run but would just walk away ever so slowly, swaying her hips sexily.

I have tried to smile at her hoping that she would say something to me but she never did. She would just smile briefly at me without even stopping. This girl is driving me crazy. I find myself looking forward to her daily visits.

However, one day she didn't show up as usual. I didn't think too much of it. Maybe she had something to do right? But the day after, she failed to show up again. I started to wonder what had happened to her but I figured that it was none of my business. After a week without a single visit from her, I started to feel agitated and curious. I have also lost my appetite. So, I decided to go look for her.

I have no idea where to start as I didn't know where she lives so I ended up just circling the block, twice, but no luck. Feeling disappointed, I went back and found my mom waiting for me by the front door. Then I remembered that we were supposed to go for a doctor's appointment.

My mind was occupied with the mystery girl all the way to the clinic. I wanted to tell my mom about her but I was too embarrassed. For one, I didn't even know her name or where she lives and now, she's disappeared. What was I supposed to tell her? What can she do anyway? Besides, I felt that this is something I have to do on my own. I am old enough anyway. I have also decided that I finally found her, I'm going to tell her how much I like her and that I would like to go out with her.

When we finally reached the clinic, the cute and nice nurse greeted us and I went in to see the doctor. Then I think I must have blacked out because the next thing I remembered was waking up feeling really drowsy and my eyelids felt really heavy. It took a lot of effort to open them. I can't see my mom anywhere and it made me confused and scared. I tried to move and that was when I felt a slight pain on my lower abdomen. I was lying on my side so I tried to curl my body to see where the pain was coming from. That was when I saw it and my first thought was, " Oh no, my balls are gone!"

Somewhere in the background, I can hear my mom talking to my doctor.

"I think he's waking up. thank you again doctor."
"No problem, you're most welcome. You have made a wise decision by choosing to neuter him."
"Actually, I wanted to wait until he's a little bit older but there's a female cat that has been coming to our house quite frequently lately so I didn't want to take any chances. He seems to like her and I'm afraid he'll get her pregnant. In fact, maybe I'll talk to her owner about getting her spayed, if they haven't already."

"Miow..." was all I managed to say before I fell asleep, hoping to dream about her.

DULU & KINI

2010-03-08T11:01:00.002+08:00

Pertama kali bersua
Senyumannya buat ku leka
Tuturnya buat ku tak tidur lena

Lirik matanya
Buat ku tersipu
Biarpun tak tertumpu pada ku

Dia sentiasa hadir dalam angan ku, mimpi ku
Walaupun ku tahu
Hanya gadis itu dalam angannya
Dan tiada aku dalam mimpinya

Setelah sekian lama
Senyumannya masih mampu
Buat ku leka

Lirik matanya masih mampu
Buat ku tersipu

Walaupun kini semuanya
Hanya untuk aku

Namun angan ku
Bukan lagi miliknya

Dan dalam mimpi ku
Tiada lagi dia

Rumah Baru

2010-03-03T09:38:00.003+08:00

Malam masih awal tapi aku sudah bersiap untuk tidur. Badan aku penat sebab hari ini aku agak sibuk dengan kerja. Ke hulu ke hilir buat itu dan ini. Sambil baring aku pandang ke arah KLCC yang kelihatan dari tempat aku baring. Cantik dan mengasyikkan.

Bunyi kereta yang lalu lalang berselang seli dengan bunyi hon agak bingit tapi langsung tak mengganggu aku sebab dah biasa, dah lali. Lagipun, aku tinggal sini sudah lama. Terlalu lama sampai aku tak ingat lagi rumah aku di kampung. Lama aku berbaring sambil sambil memandang KLCC. Kadang-kadang, tak berkebil mata aku.

Tiap-tiap malam, bila aku duduk seorang, aku akan berfikir tentang cita-cita, tentang masa depan, tentang keinginan, tentang kemewahan. Kadang-kadang fikiran aku diganggu oleh memori masa silam, tentang kesilapan, tentang kebodohan, tentang keperluan. Dan bila fikiran-fikiran kotor ini menjadi terlalu berat untuk aku tanggung, aku akan pejam mata rapat-rapat dan jerit sekuat hati aku. Mungkin aku harap, bila aku jerit, fikiran-fikiran kotor tersebut akan jadi takut dan tak akan datang lagi.

Masalahnya, bila aku menjerit kuat secara tiba-tiba, orang akan mula sedar kehadiran aku di situ dan orang akan rasa takut terhadap aku. Kadang-kadang, pakcik jaga atau polis bantuan akan halau aku dari situ. Jadi aku terpaksa lipat tilam kadbod aku dan selimut kertas aku dan cari tempat tinggal lain. Harap-harap aku boleh nampak KLCC dari tempat tinggal baru aku sebab aku ingin sambung berfikir tentang cita-cita, tentang masa depan, tentang keinginan dan kemewahan.

WHO WEARS IT BETTER?

2010-01-08T15:01:00.003+08:00

Spotted in Genting Highland Theme Park on a rainy Christmas Day 2009, Girl A and Pakcik B sporting a similar cotton Orange and Brown striped sweater with hood while gallivanting from one ride to another.

Girl A paired the sweater with a long, wide neck brown t-shirt, jeans and Adidas Superstar sneakers with a light brown bag

while Pakcik B wore the sweater with an unidentified shirt, black-colored slacks, black sandals and a red bag.

Who wears it better?

CERITA-CERITI DI SEBALIK TABIR FACEBOOK (FB)

2009-12-03T13:29:00.002+08:00

Semalam aku dan Puspa bermakan2 di Chawan, Bangsar sebab dah lama tak jumpa. Bila dah jumpa tu, biasalah, macam2 cerita akan keluar termasuklah meng'apdet' each other cerita2 baru yang terjadi dalam kehidupan seharian masing2. Maklumlah, kan dah lama tak jumpa. Cerita punya cerita (sambil menyuap makanan ke mulut) terkeluar lah cerita pasal Puspa dan masalah Maxisnya yang dah sekian lama jadi masalah tapi masih tak selesai2 walaupun telah beberapa kali cuba diselesaikan oleh beliau.
Akibat tahap ketensenan yg amat, Puspa pun apdet lah status beliau di FB (seperti orang2 lain yg ada FB) yang lebih kurang berbunyi (selepas di paraphrase) “Maxis Sucks!” dan dengan tak semena-mena, panggilan demi panggilan masuk ke telefon canggih beliau daripada Maxis bertanyakan masalah beliau sambil menabur janji-janji manis bahawa masalah ini akan selesai sebelum sempat beliau bertukar ke perkhidmatan lain seperti yang diugut2 oleh beliau setiap kali didatangi masalah ini (walaubagaimanapun, pada ketika entry ini ditulis, penulis tidak tahu samada masalah tersebut sudah sebenarnya selesai atau belum).
Apa-apa pun, adalah sangat menakjubkan bagi org2 yang mendengar cerita ini kerana sedar betapa kuat dan besar pengaruh FB dalam kehidupan seharian kita walaupun tidak diketahui samada apa yang terjadi adalah berkaitan atau kebetulan semata-mata. Rupanya, banyak lagi fungsi atau kegunaan status update tu selain daripada untuk mengglamerkan diri dan meluahkan perasaan.
Dalam cerita berasingan yang masih berkaitan dgn FB yang juga diceritakan ketika aku dan Puspa masih bermakan2 di Chawan, aku mendapat tahu bahawa FB juga digunakan oleh sesetengah pihak seperti pasangan yang jeles dan pasangan yang syak wasangka untuk memasang perangkap atau utk menyiasat samada pasangan masing2 ada membuat hubungan sulit dgn org lain atau bagi pasangan yg memang dah syak dan suspect bahawa pasangan mereka ada hubungan sulit, nak cari siapa org ketiga tersebut.
Caranya? Senang saja. Salah satu contohnya, bagi perempuan, mereka akan minta (atau upah kot) perempuan2 yg boleh dianggap cantik untuk meng’friend’ suami, tunang atau bf mereka. Setelah di'approve' atau di'add' oleh sang suami, tunang atau bf berkenaan, ejen2 spy ini akan bekerja dari dalam utk menyiasat setiap kwn perempuan lelaki2 td dlm FB. Dalam ertikata lain, memantau aktiviti FB sang suami, tunang atau bf td. Bukan setakat itu, ejen2 spy ini juga akan cuba utk meng’friend’ kesemua kwn2 perempuan lelaki2 td yg ada dlm friend list FB beliau.
Wah, sampai mcm ni sekali FB digunakan dan aku juga tetiba terfikir, sebenarnya, kejadian FB no. 2 diatas boleh dijadikan sumber pendapatan sampingan. Cuba fikir, drpd duduk mengadap FB dr pagi sampai ptg main Farmville atau Café World sbb nak kumpul duit besarkan farm atau café masing2 (bukan duit mahupun farm atau café betul pun), baik bukak bisnes “E-spy – for all your virtual spying needs. We specialize in facebook spying for all types of suspicious activities especially cheating spouses” (all rights reserved).
Siapa berminat angkat tangan….

Jom Tengok!

2009-10-14T16:16:00.008+08:00

Kepada sesiapa yang tak ada aktiviti apa-apa untuk dibuat pada 17 & 18 hb Oktober ni, jom la beramai-ramai pergi tengok teater ni. Jangan lupa booking dulu tiket untuk mengelakkan daripada tak dapat masuk sebab tempat duduk terhad (seperti yang dimaklumkan):-

THE SHARK ATTACK THEATER TOUR 2009

Dibawakan oleh: Tronoh Theatre Shop & Qum Actors

Tempat: Taman Budaya Kuala Lumpur Jln Tun H. S. Lee (dekat dgn Balai Polis Trafik KL)

Tarikh & Masa: 17 Oktober 2009, Sabtu

Sesi/Show 1 : 2.30pm - Miao Miao Sang Arnab & Monolog Tok Janggut

Sesi/Show 2 : 9.00pm - Asylum & Medley of Mimes

18 Oktober 2009, Ahad

Sesi/Show 1 : 2.30pm - Asylum & Medley of Mimes

Sesi/Show 2 : 9.00pm - Miao Miao Sang Arnab & Monolog Tok Janggut

Tiket: RM10 per sesi/show.

Sila buat tempahan tiket sebelum show

*(30% daripada harga tiket akan didermakan kepada rumah anak-anak yatim 'Rumah Budi Mulia Nurul Huda, Chemor')

Untuk tempahan sila hubungi: Syakir-0172910234 Asyraf-0177719427

http://tronohtheatershop.blogspot.com/

Sinopsis:

Asylum (Karya Dr Shark & Arahan Aini)

Asylum adalah sebuah komedi mengisahkan sekumpulan pesakit mental dari kumpulan Unit Teater Psikotik berusaha mementaskan sebuah teater sempena pembukaan hospital pesakit mental yang baru, Institut Psikotik Negara. Teater ini memaparkan bagaimana mereka semua berusaha untuk berlatih sehabis baik. Mereka mementaskan sebuah cerita tentang kehidupan manusia yang alpa dengan kemaksiatan dunia seperti rasuah, pemerintah yang tamak, penagihan dadah, parti-parti politik yang bertelagah, kekejaman kemanusiaan, dan sebagainya. Mereka juga turut memaparkan isu-isu semasa jika tidak dibendung akhirnya menerima pembalasan yang tidak dapat lagi ditarik balik. Institut Psikotik Negara juga membuka pengambilan ahli-ahli baru…

Miao Miao Sang Arnab (Karya Dr Shark & Arahan Pacel)

Miao Miao Sang Arnab, sebuah kisah yang memaparkan nilai kemanusiaan iaitu cinta dan kasih sayang yang menjadi pendirian Mat. Arnab secara separa sedar telah muncul untuk mencungkil nilai ini dari dalam diri Mat yang sering merasa ‘insecure’ dan kecewa akibat gagal dalam percintaan. Bahkan, nilai kemanusiaan ini yang menyelamatkan Mat daripada membunuh diri. Nilai ini berlawanan dengan Roy yang menganggap cinta dan kasih sayang tidak lebih daripada seksual. Arnab yang boleh menjadi pelbagai jenis binatang merupakan jiwa Mat yang meronta untuk keluar dari dalam dirinya. Namun, adakah Arnab berjaya ‘menyelamatkan’ Mat?

Tok Janggut (Karya Salju Putih & Arahan Dr Shark)

Tok Janggut atau nama sebenarnya Mat Hassan Panglima Munas dilahirkan di Kampung Saring, Daerah Jeram, Kelantan pada 1850. Bapanya berkhidmat sebagai paglima istana dan dia dibesarkan di Istana Tengku Seri Maharaja Jeram. Beliau mendapat pendidikan agama di Mekah dan Patani.Penentangan bermula apabila termerainya Perjanjian Bangkok antara Siam dan pihak British dimana Negeri Kelantan diletakkan dibawah kuasa British. Kehadiran pegawai British dari Singapura Abdul Latif yang dilantik menjadi Ketua Daerah Pasir Putih juga tidak disenangi kerana telah mengenakan pelbagai jenis cukai yang membebankan rakyat. Strategi Tok Janggut untuk menentang British telah diketahui oleh pihak British dan cubaan untuk menangkap Tok janggut menemui kegagalan. Tok janggut kemudian menawan Pasir Putih dan menubuhkan pentadbiran sendiri dan beliau dilantik menjadi Perdana Menteri, Ungku Besar Jeram sebagai Raja. Berlaku tentangan hebat antara pasukan Tok Janggut dan tentera British dan Tok Janggut terbunuh bersama ramai pengikutnya yang lain. Mayatnya kemudian diarak ke Kota Bharu dan digantung di Padang Merdeka sebelum dikebumikan di Pasir Pekan, Tumpat.

Kuntilanak Kamar Mayat: A review

2009-10-14T11:59:00.004+08:00

I went to watch Kuntilanak Kamar Mayat mainly because I am absolutely addicted to watching horror movies and partly because the poster is quite fetching (see left. Poster taken from www.cineleisure.com.my). But to be honest, I thought that the movie was quite bad though the storyline was okay even if it was predictably typical.

Basically, the story is about a girl named Din who is looking for her sister whom has gone missing. Her frantic search for her sister brought her to the hospital where her sister worked as a nurse. That was when she found out that her sister was pregnant and that maybe her disappearance may be connected to her pregnancy.

I was quite disappointed with this movie though I rarely do with horror movies. It was as if they had made this whole movie out of the scenes on the cutting room floor of another horror movie because the scenes felt like it was jumping from one to another with a part or two missing in between and there were scenes that does not seem to belong. It certainly does not help that the acting was equally as bad.

I feel that the movie could have been a little better with better execution, better acting and a little depth to the storyline. Just because ghosts appears every now and then does not make it a good horror movie.

RAYA TAHUN INI

2009-10-12T14:49:00.002+08:00

Raya tahun ini, kami beraya di rumah nenek saudara sebelah abah sebab kami plan nak buat renovation pada rumah lama kami.

Raya tahun ini, genap 13 tahun aku beraya tanpa mak aku yang meninggal dunia dalam bulan Ramadhan pada tahun 1997. Walaupun dah lama, aku masih rindu pada dia.

Pada tahun 2005, nenek yang paling aku sayang pula meninggal dunia jadi tahun ini dah masuk 4 tahun aku beraya tanpa nenek aku dan aku juga sangat rindukan dia.

Raya tahun ini, adalah tahun kedua aku beraya bertemankan Amir. Semoga raya tahun hadapan dan tahun-tahun yang berikutnya aku masih beraya bertemankan amir.

Raya tahun ini, masa melawat saudara-mara, ramai muka-muka baru yang aku nampak. Anak-anak saudara yang baru lahir dan pasangan sepupu-sepupu yang baru kahwin tapi pada masa yang sama, ramai juga muka-muka lama, nenek-nenek dan atuk-atuk, pakcik-pakcik dan makcik-makcik, yang aku tak nampak dan tak akan nampak lagi.

Raya tahun ini, tak banyak berbeza daripada tahun-tahun lepas dan aku rasa, raya tahun depan pun tak akan banyak berbeza daripada tahun ini. Cuma aku harap tahun depan kami dapat beraya di rumah kami sendiri yang telah siap direnovate dan bertemankan amir, abah, adik dan Jihah.

Dan semoga tahun depan aku akan ada cerita tentang hari raya yang lebih menarik untuk diceritakan daripada tahun ini.

Selamat hari raya maaf zahir dan batin.

Things They Never Taught (But Ought To) Future Lawyers In Ethics Lecture (Part 1)

2009-08-19T11:52:00.002+08:00

Do not belittle your opponent in court or anywhere else even if they really do not know what they’re doing and even if you believe with all your heart that you are the smartest person on planet earth.

Do not think that you are the smartest person on planet earth.

Do not try to aggravate the situation by feeding to the fury of the judge against your opponent just to make you look good or to get what you want from court. It may just backfire in ways you might or might not foresee.

Do not play dirty and hit below the belt even if what you’re doing is quite legal and/or in line of the procedure (although it usually borders dangerously between proper and improper procedure).

Do not take your client’s battle personally and wage your own war against them and/or their solicitors.

Please respect your client or at least treat them nicer and not just the big shot ones. No matter how trivial their matter is or how much of a regular Joe they are, they are still your client.

There are possibilities that you might be wrong. Accept it.

People are not born with legal knowledge and neither were you.

Treating your clients and opponents better and/or nicer does not make you any less of a lawyer.

Do not think that everybody thinks highly of you or like you a lot. You might be surprise how people talk especially if you do any of the above a lot.

Humility is a virtue not a weakness.

Just because you've got the gift of the gab does not mean you're a good lawyer.

THE ONE WHERE I ALMOST BREAK UP

2009-08-10T15:44:00.003+08:00

Up until last Friday, I thought that Amir and I are the happiest couple on earth (as do all couple, I suppose) and nothing would ever come between us or even try to come between us. I recently learned that though I was not entirely wrong, I wasn’t exactly spot on either. I also never thought that while a certain “friend” hasn’t exactly been much of a friend for the last 2 years, I never thought that he would stoop so low and do something so hurtful, whatever his intentions were.

Something good did come out of it though. We learned that communication is really important in a relationship. We must always let our partner know how we are feeling and keeping quiet without giving any indication why could lead to disastrous result. Even if you are feeling really angry or frustrated or whatever and do not feel like talking about it at that moment or maybe you need some time to think or to come down or whatever, do let your partner know and don’t leave them in the dark because believe it or not, your partner cannot read your mind unless of course he or she is psychic. It may seem like such a simple thing but it really is quite important.

We also learned how much we love and care for each other.

One thing we never quite figured out is why our “friend” did what he did which almost break me and Amir up. And the irony of it all is that, that friend was the one who introduced us in the first place.

Nevertheless, all is well with Amir and I now!

WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL ABOUT F1?

2009-05-19T18:18:00.008+08:00

Early last month, on 4/4/2009 which is a Saturday, Amir and I went to watch F1 qualifying round. It was really hot, scorching in fact and I was sweating like a pig.

When we got there, they were having autograph signing sessions with some of the drivers including Button, which I was dying to get but didn't manage to even if the management tried to limit to 1 item per person to be autograph as the line was frikkin' long and the sessions were short. I stood in the deadly heat amidst sweating F1 fans for nothing.

Then, after the above dissapppointment, we proceeded to locate our seat and when we finally found it, the drivers were having test runs. That was when I realized that I forgot to bring my earplugs so my ears hurts, my eardrums were ringing like crazy and when it finally went numb, I decided that maybe it's time to go look for some earplugs. We managed to find some that cost about RM10 which is, in my opinion a bit too much for a simple tiny yellow sponge (no relation to spongebob squarepants) but I bought it anyway as I would rather part with my hard earned money than to part with my hearing which will cost me more of my hard earned money if I want it back in the event I lose it.

Then, as I have mentioned, the day was extremely hot so again, I had to fork out RM5 for 1 small bottle of drinking water (but mind you, I needed lots of it) as outside drinks are not allowed. Again, I would rather buy them, however expensive it might be, than get severely dehydrated and die. Then, whatever money I have won't mean a thing.

However, I did get sunburns on my arms and neck. My first time ever and it hurts so bad, even days after.

Anyway, towards the end of the day, after the qualifying and on our way back to our car which cost about RM50 to park at some obscure place far, far away, it started to rain cats and dogs which forced us to take shelter in the open info booth which looked as if it was going to collapse everytime the wind blew. We had to wait for the rain to stop before making our way back to our car. But I still got slightly wet.

Nevertheless, all that aside, we had a great time.

We got free tickets for great seats (they cost a bomb, thanks cuzzie for the tix!)

managed to get a glimpse of Button (not in the pic below), got to spend time with my Syg

and I can at least say I've been there, done that. Actually, this is my second time but the first time I got paddock tix (thanks to another cuzzie.. heheh) so that was another experience altogether!

WAO FUTSAL CHARITY TOURNAMENT 2009

2009-05-13T16:40:00.007+08:00

Due to my procrastinating ways, people are made to believe that I am leading a very dull life and doing nothing fun enough worth mentioning. Actually, I did a couple of interesting stuff and went to a couple of interesting events and/or places. I just haven’t written about them, yet.

Anyway, on 29.3.2009 (yes, that is almost about 2 months ago) Team Maju (newly formed HRC futsal team) which I am a part of participated in a charity tournament organized by the Women’s Aid Organisation (WAO) as part of their effort to raise fund to support the various programs they had going and also to help support run the centre. For more info on WAO, please visit their website at http://www.wao.org.my/.

(some pics of Team Maju with some of the players. Some of us did not play on that day but they came to give support :))

Anyway, we had been training really hard and were super excited to go for the tourney and when the day finally came, our anticipation mounted to see whether all the trainings we had undergone are going to pay off. Anyway, to summarize the whole tourney, we came, we saw but unfortunately we didn’t conquer. However all was not lost. We had fun, we get to wear really cool jerseys (we were the coolest looking team that day… hahaha) thanks to our dedicated team manager, Sherrie and we uncovered a closet superb goalkeeper in Jeffri!

(above: Jeffri, the Goalie) (below: Sherrie, the Manager)

2 pats on the back for our ever vigilant goalie and for everyone else for managing to survive the whole 5 matches in one piece and for actually managing to at least win one. Yay us! Can’t wait to do it again..

And most important of all, I heard that WAO managed to raise a considerable amount of fund, which is after all THE main event of the day. So, all was not lost!

p/s: the above photos were taken by Sherrie and Seira (the one in the yellow socks!). Thanks for the photos you guys!

HELP URGENTLY NEEDED!

2009-05-07T12:31:00.003+08:00

The following is taken from the SPCA news alert:

EMERGENCY RELIEF FOR PULAU KETAM DOGS

SPCA and SAS (Save A Stray) are appealing to the public to contribute to their Pulau Ketam fund, to aid the emergency rescue and relief efforts over the next several weeks. Funds will be utilized to hire boats for transportation of the dogs, purchase dog food, medical supplies and cages. The start-up fund is RM1,300 – proceeds from a networking event SPCA organized last Sunday.

We also appreciate donations in kind – 3’ x 3’ multipurpose cages, dog biscuits and canned food, food and water bowls, towels, water storage containers, and flea/tick spray. All donated items can be sent to the SPCA Animal Shelter in Ampang Jaya.

DONATE ONLINE
Please click here to make a donation through our ipay88.com account. Please indicate that the donation is for the Pulau Ketam Project.

FUND TRANSFERS & CHEQUES
You can bank in the payment to our RHB account (Account No: 2-12273-00021583). Please call or e-mail us at enquiries@spca.org.my to notify us of your bank-in donation and transaction details.

Please make all cheques to the Society For The Prevention of Cruelty To Animals (please write Pulau Ketam fund on the reverse), and mail to ;

SPCA Selangor
Jalan Kerja Ayer Lama
68000 Ampang Jaya
Selangor Darul Ehsan

Enquiries: 603-4256 5312 (8am - 4.30pm), 4253 5312 (10am – 6.30pm)

VOLUNTEERS
If you are an experienced dog-handler, animal rescuer or vet and interested in assisting with the emergency rescue and relief work, or able to foster adult dogs or puppies temporarily, please send us an e-mail immediately at enquiries@spca.org.my . There are hundreds of dogs and puppies that need your help, every bit counts!

For more info and background story on the above rescue mission, please visit the SPCA website at http://www.spca.org.my/

Please help these helpless dogs!

BITING THE BULLET

2009-04-07T16:55:00.001+08:00

Today, I faced my long standing fear and stumbled through it. Note that I didn’t say I conquered or overcame my fears, just that I faced it, alone. I didn’t call for back up support (because I couldn’t), I didn’t back down (partly because there is no other choice, if there were I would probably do). However, I am still somewhat proud of myself though I did make a fool out of myself but hey, embarrassment is the least of my concern.

Today, I went to see the doctor by myself and DREW BLOOD with no one by my side but the understanding doctor and a kind-faced nurse. I am proud of myself even if the doctor made me lie down because he was afraid I might faint and said to me “Whining’s not gonna help you” but the doctor did try to help take my mind off the needle (bless him) though to no avail. And all the while, the nurse and him were smiling, amused look on their faces. Anyway, at the end of the day, the fact remains that some blood was taken from me via a syringe and I survived but alas, I am still afraid of needles.

P/s: And the doctor said that he has seen worse and I was not it!

HOLIDAY PLANS!

2009-03-18T13:10:00.003+08:00

I love travelling and going on holidays. I mean, who doesn't right. And luckily for me, Amir does too. We have been to quite a number of places. Some of them are really full blown holidays, some are road trips and some are trips we took while attending out of town weddings (sambil menyelam minum air la kan.. hehehe). And a visit to any animal related attraction is a must wherever we go.

Last year me and Amir had planned to go on a vacation to some island and we had decided to go to Perhentian (my idea) this time around. Been planning for it for quite some time but somehow it got postponed to this year sebab kene tunggu musim tengkujuh habis (dalam bulan 3 @ 4) baru la selamat dan sesuai untuk pegi snorkeling. Klu tak air laut pun keruh je ape pun tak nampak kan.

I have just applied for my leave about last week or so and haven’t actually made any reservation for the holiday so when we found out Matta Fair was going on last week (what a wonderful coincidence), we just had to go and see if we can get a good holiday deal. So to the Matta Fair we went and asked around we did. Finally, we decided to give Perhentian a skip this time around and booked ourselves a 4 day 3 night holiday to Kota Kinabalu which will be on 29th April to 2nd May 2009. Our itinerary includes a trip to Kinabalu Park, Poring Hot Spring and of course a trip to Manukan and Sapi Island where I hope to do some snorkeling. KK here we come…. In 41 days from now!

ME IN A DRESS

2009-03-18T10:01:00.007+08:00

Last weekend was a busy one. On Saturday, the BAR Council AGM took place in the morning and later in the evening; we had the Legal Aid Gala Charity Dinner and Dance at Renaissance.

The Legal Aiders performed a multilogue where we sort of joke about some of the funny laws in Malaysia. It went well for the rest but I totally sucked. I was nervous like hell. Dunno why as this is not my first time doing this kind of things. I actually puked all my dinner out (I had Chicken Breast Stuffed with Mushroom with Avocado Sauce. Not too crazy about the sauce but the chicken was delish!). Anyway, when it was my turn to do my part (just my luck, me and Valen had to go first) the stupid microphone refused to work. So it somehow "interrupted" my energy and confidence flow and I was feeling stupid standing there waving my hand trying to tell someone my mike was not working and all the while the spotlight was still on us.

When I finally got a mike that was working, we had to start over. I somehow went on autopilot, due to what happened earlier with the mike and all and I actually repeated some lines (after all the rehersing and memorising...). How embarrassing! I know it was very noticeable but my friends were too nice to say anything about it to me. Anyway, at least it’s over with.

But the night was not a total flop for me eventhough I missed almost 90% of the whole event as I was too nervous before our performance to enjoy the earlier part of the dinner and by the time we finished our performance and my nervousness and embarrassment has passed, the emcee announced that the event is coming to an end. On the bright side, I get to listen to some great music by the Ocean of Fire (I think that’s what they’re called) from Penang and a guy playing a mean saxophone. Can’t remember his name but he’s cute though… hehehe. Managed to squeeze in some dancing (though I danced horribly it was fun nonetheless). And last but definitely not the least, I get to wear this really sweet dress and I got it for a steal too.

SPOILED BRAT! WHO?? ME?? NOOO.....

2009-03-10T12:44:00.005+08:00

Last Sunday I had a skit rehersal with the Legal Aiders (a group of volunteer lawyers at the KL Legal Aid Centre) as we will be performing at the Legal Aid Gala Charity Dinner & Dance this coming Saturday, 14.3.2009.

Anyway, it was not a particularly good day for me so when the rehersal finally started I was already feeling very crappy and was in no mood to act or reherse or whatever.

When it was my time to do my bit of the skit, I whined and begged to go last and dragged my feet and just simply refused to do it. It was very unprofessional and childish, I know, but dammit, I just didn't have it in me at that moment. I just needed some time to compose and collect myself.

Somehow, I got up to the stage and uttered about 4 sentences before I jumped off the stage in frustration and said that I am not up to doing it now, can I please have some time and that I will do it later because at that moment it just doesn't feel right and I know if I went ahead and do it then, it will be shitty and I absolutely hate doing half baked jobs. If I'm gonna do something, it has to be my best.

Luckily I managed to snap out of it and finally did my part over and over and over again. But although I was feeling much better, I couldn't help feeling really guilty and slightly embarrased at everyone there. I was uncooperative, childish and unprofessional. In other words, I was being a spoiled brat..

But as a consolation, at least to myself, when I finally did it, I felt that I had given my best.

In any event, I just wanna say I'm sorry to everyone there.. Really.

ANOTHER WEIRD DAY AT WORK

2009-03-03T18:29:00.006+08:00

It was a Friday and I was on my way back to the office with my boss from court. We have already reached the office and my boss was trying to find a parking space when suddenly he started singing. The song sounded familiar though at that moment I could not really recall what song it was. So, I joined him and we sang together for awhile. A really short while though as both of us could not remember a few lines of the song but we could still hum to the tunes, so we stopped singing and continued humming. The song goes something like this:-

Round and round the chimneys they fly
Higher and higher they climb in the sky
Over the rooftops and chimneys and mills
Over the rivers and railways and hills
But they always come home eventually
Always come home eventually
No matter how many miles they have flown
They will always come home

When we stopped singing and humming, finally I remembered what song it was so I asked him, with an amused look plastered on my face.

Me: That’s a Smurf song kan?
Boss: Yeah. Eh, how come you know?
Me: Of course I know it. I love that song. I have the tape.
Boss: You do?? I love that tape. The songs are nice. There’s this other song I like in it. A lullaby or something…
Me: I know, I know. It goes something like ‘Go to sleep now close your eyes…’(singing)
Boss & Me: ‘Try to think of tomorrow, All your friends, All your toys will be waiting for you to play….'
Me: Hehehe
Boss: Eh, you still have that tape ah?
Me: I think so but I can’t remember where I put it lah.
Boss: Try la to find because I want to pinjam la to give my daughter to listen. She likes the songs you see but I don’t have the tape. Pity her…
Me: Then how does she know the song?
Boss: From my singing la. I always sing to her the song.
Me: Okay. I will try to find it.

Hehehe… another weird day at work and there’s more where that came from.

THE JOY OF SHOE SHOPPING... OR NOT

2009-02-26T12:01:00.003+08:00

I went shoe hunting with Amir yesterday after work. Not for sneakers (though I have one that I’m eyeing), not for court shoes (though I need it and by need I mean want a new one), not for flip flops (not really a shoe but at least it’s a kind of a footwear which brings me joy all the same). I went hunting for a futsal shoe. Why? Because I have signed myself up to be in the Bar Council Human Rights Council team (we are called “Team Maju” – dunno why) for the WAO charity futsal tournament. Initially wanted to participate with the Law 20 (old uni mates) futsal buddies but alas.. the participation fee was too high for us. Luckily for me (cuz I’m totally addicted to futsal and to competitive sports) HRC wanted to send a team which I happily signed up for hence my need for a futsal shoe. Yelah, aku pun tanak la tengah syok-syok lari-lari kejar bola dengan machonye tetiba tersungkur tapi bukan sebab kene tackle ngan opponent tapi sebab tergelincir sendiri.. waaa malu giler beb. At least that was what our trainer said would happen if we don’t wear proper footwear.

Anyway, I have played before but because I usually played for fun with a complete disregard for the rules and regulations of the game, never actually bothered to get myself a proper shoe.

So shoe hunting we went. But being the cheapskate that I am, I insisted to look for and eventually buy a nice futsal shoe that will only cost me RM50-60. Bukan apa, bajet dah agak lari (sebab tengah berjimat untuk gi holiday in May) and lagipun bukannya selalu masuk tournament pun. Main suka-suka pun jarang-jarang. So rasanya kalau na beli kasut yang mahal (tapi admittedly sangat cantik la kan yang mahal-mahal tu) sangat membazir.

Little did I know that sangat la susah aku na cari kasut futsal that looks decent to my eyes with that budget… hahaha. On top of that, bila da jumpa yang agak cantik mata memandang dan harga pun within budget, saiz pulak tade. After going to quite a number of shops all of which tade my saiz dengan kaki yang dah kembang sebab banyak jalan, I finally admitted defeat and gave in to the pressure from the capitalists and bought a shoe that was slightly above my budget but look decent enough and one that actually fits me… argghhh finally… tapi bila aku fikir balik, ada kemungkinan yang maybe kasut tu muat because kaki aku yang dah kembang by that time… jangan nanti aku tersungkur time main sebab kasut tercampak sudah…

By the way, these are the details of the charity tournament. Meh la datang tengok beramai-ramai:-

Date : 29 th March 2009 (Sunday)

Time : 9.00am – 6.00pm

Venue : The Sports Plaza , Lot 14, Jalan Bersatu, Section 13/4, Petaling Jaya (same row as Colgate Palmolive in section 13, right opposite the Nissan service centre).

BOYCOTT TAG

2009-01-15T09:07:00.004+08:00

Here's what we should do. It's simple:

list down 5 of the products from the list below that you are boycotting,
and then list down 5 of the products that you will try your best to boycott,
and finally list another 5 of the products that you find it hard to boycott,
and tag 5 others.

This tag is to get everyone to read the list below carefully and identify which products affects your life and the lives of the Palestinians most! You can also compare your list with your friends and see: if they can boycott one product that you haven't been boycotting, why can't you start to boycott the product too?

5 products I'm boycotting:

1. Arsenal
2. Motorola
3. All the news corporation
4. All the beauty products and perfume
5. Coca-Cola

5 products I will start to boycott:

1. Johnson & Johnson
2. Carrefour
3. Kleenex
4. Ambi Pur
5. Smarties

5 products that I find hard to boycott:

1. McDonalds
2. Disney
3. Maybelline
4. Nestle Products
5. Nokia

Boycott List by Brand - View the Labels to boycott

* AOL Time Warner Time Life magazine, CNN, ICQ
* Apax Partners Jonny Rockets, Sunglass Hut.
* Arsenal Football Club
* Coca-Cola Fruitopia, Fanta, Kia Orange, Lilt, Sprite, Sunkist..
* Caterpillar
* Danone HP foods, Evian, Volvic, Jacob
* Delta Galil Hema, Barbie, Carrefour, Auchan, Tchibo, Victoria's Secret, GAP, Banana Republic, Structure, J-Crew, JC Penny, Pryca, Lindex, DIM, DKNY, Ralph Lauren, Playtex, cK, Hugo Boss, M&S
* Disney
* Emblaze
* Estée Lauder Aramis, Clinique, DKNY, Prescriptives, Origins, MAC, La Mer, Bobbi Brown, Tommy Hilfiger, Jane, Donna Karan, Aveda, Stila, Jo Malone, Bumble & Bumble, Kate Spade
* Home Depot Villager's Hardware, Georgia Lighting, Apex Supply, EXPO Design Centres
* IBM
* Intel
* Johnson & Johnson
* Kimberly-Clark Kleenex, Kotex, Huggies, Andrex
* Lewis Trust Group River Island, Isrotel hotels, Britannia Pacific
* The Limited Inc Express stores, Lerner New York, Structure, New York & Company, Mast Industries, Intimate Brands, Victoria's Secret, Bath & Body Works, White Barn Candle Company, Henri Bendel
* L'Oreal Giorgio Armani, Redken 5th Avenue, Lancome Paris, Vichy, Cacharel, La Roche-Posay, Garnier, Biotherm, Helena Rubinstein, Maybelline, Ralph Lauren, Carson
* Marks & Spencer M&S, St.Michaels
* McDonald's
* Motorola
* Nestle Nescafé, Perrier, Vittel, Pure Life, Carnation, Libby's, Milkmaid, Nesquik, Maggi, Buitoni, Cross & Blackwell, KitKat, Milkybar, Quality Street, Smarties, After Eight, Aero, Polo, Lion, Felix cat food, L'Oréal
* News Corporation TV: Fox, Sky, Star, Phoenix, Granada, CNBC. UK newspapers: Standard Newspaper, News of the World, The Sun, The Times. Australian Newspapers: The Telegraph , Gold Coast Bulletin, Herald Sun, Independent, Sunday Mail. US newspapers: New York Post. Publishers: Harper Collins Ragan, Zondervan, National Geographical. Nursery World, Rawkus, NDS, Mushroom Records, ChinaByte.com, Festival Records
* Nokia
* Revlon New World Entertainment, Forbes
* Sara Lee Hanes, Playtex, Champion, Leggs, Douwe Egberts, Bryan, DIM, Ambi Pur, Bali, Superior Coffee, Just My Size, Kiwi, Maison Cafe, Nur die, Pilao, Lovable, Outer Banks, Wonderbra, Sanex, Pickwick, Gossard, Body Mist, Brylcreem, Aqua Velva, Radox
* Siemens
* Selfridges
* Starbucks Seattle Coffee, Pasqua, Hear Music, TazoTimberland

If anybody with or without a blog feels like doing this list, please do!

My Little Fighter

2008-12-30T15:03:00.001+08:00

“Poor guy… only 2 years old but have been through so much already”.

That was what Dr. Yeo the vet said to me yesterday when I brought Cuteness in for a checkup as he was not eating. She’s right. He has been through so much in his 2 years. He lost all his family. 2 of his siblings died the first few weeks they were born. His mother left him at my house and before he was even a year old, his only surviving sister died of unknown reason.
After surviving his first year without any serious illnesses, a few months after he turned 2, he was diagnosed with 2 fatal infections on separate occasions and I just found out a possibility of him being diagnosed with a 3rd also fatal infection. After having survived the first one and still fighting with the 2nd illness, I don’t know if I have the strength or the courage to face the 3rd though I hope and I pray that Cuteness does. He is my little fighter after all.
But I pray even harder that he won’t even get that infection. Not that I won’t be there for him if he does. It’s just that I cannot bear to see him suffer. He’s been hospitalized twice and was put on house arrest twice. Now he will be kept inside permanently because of his condition although I know how much he loves to go out. My baby who once has a voracious appetite and who was slightly overweight is now losing weight rapidly and has to be force feed because he won’t eat on his own. On top of that, he has to take his medication.
I hate putting him through such stress but I don’t know what else to do. All I know is that I can’t just stand by and watch him deteriorate and not do anything. I hate having to say no to him every time he wants to go outside. I hate having to hold him down just to feed him or to give him a drink or worse to force some pills down his throat. I hate seeing him so tired and listless but most of all, I hate feeling so helpless and how every time I look into his eyes all I can think is about losing him.
Some people don’t understand why this is such a big deal. He is just a cat after all. The mention of a cat being hospitalized and having leukemia might seem cute or funny to some people but there is nothing cute or funny about it. The cats and their illnesses are as real as you and me. And they do feel pain and suffer though they are good at hiding it. It’s not a joke. I’m not angry and I’m not blaming. I appreciate the fact that some people are fond of some things and some other people are fond of other things but I do hope that they also appreciate that some people have pets and those pets are loved, cared for and are very much a part of the family and when something or someone that you care deeply about is seriously sick, I’m sure you will do everything you can to make them better. And on the unfortunate occasion that you do lose them, you will grieve. And I’m sure as hell I can’t find anything funny about caring for and/or losing something you love, whatever or whoever it may be.

PIGGIN'-OUT ON CHRISTMAS

2008-12-26T15:44:00.005+08:00

Yesterday was Christmas and of course was a public holiday. Woke up quite late, spent what was left of the morning hours watching feel good Christmas movies, which I totally love and finally took my bath at around 1 pm and it was only because I was going over to my neighbour's house for their open house.

Anyway, when I finally got there, some of my friends were already there and it being 2 pm, I headed straight for the spagetti. Then I had a beef pie and later in the evening I had the nasi minyak (I think it was a nasi minyak la). In between those heavy meals, I was muching on tid-bits, muruku la, coklat la, salad la... What ever that was on the table... hahaha. I felt really bad about eating so much but just couldn't find the strength to stop.

I finally left at around 7 pm as I was going out with my BF to watch a movie. And guess what I did right before the movie? I had dinner. Went to Vivo at the Curve and had mushroom soup, pizza and some fried paprika chicken wings.

No wonder my previously loose slacks are now, as I recently discovered, is a bit "snug".

Maybe it's about time I try to fit in some exercise time into my schedule.

2008-12-05T11:53:00.017+08:00

SUDAH JATUH DITIMPA TANGGA

Last week my sister was admitted into Ipoh Hospital which is nothing new for her. She was admitted for hypokalemia (hypocalemia) which she was diagnosed with when she was 11. It is a condition where the level of potassium in the blood is abnormally low. She has been in and out of the hospital since then especially when her potassium count drops to a dangerous level.

Anyway, prior to last week she went on a class trip to Langkawi and since the trip involves a lot of walking and she was without her meds (small yellow-coloured pills called Slow-K), her muscles started to become weak and sooner than she can say 'take me home', she began to have trouble walking or moving any of her muscles, which is a bad sign.

Luckily, it was already towards the end of the trip and they were already on their way back to KL but she couldn't make it all the way back to KL as it would have been very dangerous her. Since Ipoh was the nearest town from where they were at that time, they took her there.

She was admitted on Friday and was finally discharged on Monday as the potassium count in her blood had reached the minimum level.

While she was there, my dad and other sister kept her company and on the way back, they stopped by her rented house in Shah Alam to pick up her laptop and video cam but when they got there, she found those 2 things missing from her drawer. At that time, most of her housemates had already left to go balik kampung since the semester break had started. And of course, when she asked those who are still there, nobody knew anything. Even if they did, I doubt they would say anything and the person who took it (just saying, not accusing) would have be crazy to admit any knowledge of it. Sure, she went to make a police report but lets face it, what good does that do (betul ke ayat ni??)

So, that was that. My poor sister. Dah lah sakit sampai masuk hospital, balik tengok-tengok barang-barang berharga kena curi plak. And mind you, it was not only monetary loss. Irreplaceable and priceless stuff macam gambar-gambar personal, video-video personal dan dokumen-dokumen penting yang ada dalam laptop tu dan video tu pun turut jadi mangsa la kepada individu-individu yang tak bertanggungjawab, tak berhati perut (dan macam-macam lagi perkataan yang tak sampai hati nak sebut kat sini) yang mengambil kesempatan in the event of someone else's misfortune. However, I do not wish them harm, all I wish is that they get what they deserve.

2008-12-03T09:56:00.004+08:00

MY BABY'S SICK

Last week was crazy. I had a lot of urgent work to be done, deadlines to meet. I was so stressed that at one point I actually scowled at my boss. I barely had time to breathe. I even missed my Mandarin class test. Then suddenly I got a call from my sister, whom was away in Langkawi on a class trip, telling me that she was not feeling so well. I took a half day off the next day as my sister was admitted into Ipoh Hospital (she couldn't make it all the way to KL).
Anyway, she is feeling much better and was finally discharged earlier this week on Monday but on the same day, my cat, Cuteness got admitted into the Animal Medical Centre Hospital.
What happened was, all of last week Cuteness was not eating much, was not being his usual self and would just sleep on the top stairs, whole day and night, only getting up when he really needed too. He was also being very quiet and just mew once or twice a day which was worrying me since he is usually a very vocal cat. At first, I thought it was because of the new cat in the house and maybe he was feeling jealous or something but on Monday, he was not eating at all and has a temperature so I rushed him to the vet and prepared myself for bad news.
The vet told me that they need to keep him for the night to run some test because he has a high temperature and his symptoms could indicate something more serious than just a normal infection. My heart sank the moment I heard that and prayed hard that it's not something serious.
The vet called yesterday and confirmed my fears. She told me that he tested positive for Feline Leukemia Virus (FeLV) but she could not confirm the extend of the infection just yet. At least, now he is eating a bit and his temperature has gone down a bit but I was crushed nonetheless when I heard about what the disease entails.
Went to see him last night. He was looking better but restless as the vet had to put him on I.V. drip because he was slightly dehydrated. Got more information on the disease from the vet, all of which are not very promising but I will do all I can for Cuteness. Now I am waiting for a call from the vet to take my baby home. Everybody at home misses him, even my dad who is generally not very fond of cats.

2008-10-22T10:22:00.003+08:00

YOU MADE ME LOVE YOU

I thought all hope was lost
But then I found you
When hate was all I feel
You came and brought your love
When crying was all I know
You came and taught me how to laugh
You made me happy
But then I got scared
You did nothing but care
And I did nothing but hurt
Just when I expect you to leave
You surprised me by staying
Then you made me cry
By smiling at me
And when you kiss me
And told me that you'll love me
No matter what
You made me love you

2008-10-16T12:11:00.003+08:00

SPOILED ROTTEN WITH LOVE

About 6 months or so ago, a couple of my friends told me that they think I look happier than I have ever been. Well, to tell the truth, I really was and I still am. Why wouldn't I be? After countless heartaches, almost drowning in my own tears, doing stupid things, losing weight more than I ever thought I even could and *gasp* losing my appetite (something I never thought could ever possibly happen to me), I finally found the RIGHT guy (that's my syg, Amiruddin Khalid). Note that I didn't say the PERFECT guy because despite my obsession with perfection, I know that there is no such thing as the perfect guy. Despite his imperfection, I love him to bits and those imperfections are nothing compared to all that he is.

I love him for understanding every time I have to work late and/or work on a weekend. Once he even kept me company while I was working at the office from morning till about 2.00 in the afternoon on a SUNDAY during Ramadhan and after 'buka puasa' went back to the office with me and stayed till 11pm. He would've stayed longer if I didn't chase him away.

I love him for being patient every time my temper got the best of me or every time I threw a tantrum. Never once did he raise his voice at me, walk away from me or hang up on me. If I ever hang up on him, he would call back and would wait patiently until I say something and would not hold anything against me. Saying all this makes me look bad but I don't care, he loves me anyway.

I love him for caring about and for me (sometimes a little too much that I feel guilty). He would worry about whether I had gotten home safely, he would worry if I haven't eaten, he would worry if I feel even the slightest discomfort and/or sick. Once, he couldn't reach me on my cell phone (my batteries were out), he got so worried that he came all the way from Seremban (he lives there) to my house in Gombak just to make sure that I was okay. Actually, he did this twice.

He would always make sure that I have everything that I need or everything that he thinks I need, from my basic needs to the not-so-basic-needs and everything in between. Once, we were talking on the phone and I mentioned that I was sweaty because the weather that night was a bit hot so he bought me a pair of shorts and a baby T for me to wear at home so I would be comfortable.

He would always go out of his way for me. If and when I have to go to Bangi Court, he would always insist on picking me up from court, have breakfast or lunch with me (depending on what time I finish my matter), send me back to my office in Kuala Lumpur (because I don't drive to Bangi) and then go back to Seremban.

I love him for being sensitive and empathetic. When my kitten died and I cried on a public bus (we were out), he didn't care that people were staring and didn't ask me to stop crying because of that. He just put his arms around me and let me be. When my hamster died, he bought me 4 hamsters to replace the one that I lost because he said "I know how much you love your hamster and how sad you were when he died so I bought these to make you happy".

Most important of all, I love him because he loves me for who I am. He has never tried to change me or anything about me. He never tells me that I need to lose or gain weight; that I would look better if I lose my glasses and wear contact lens; he never dictates what I should wear and how I should look; he won't even bat an eyelid and would still tell me that I look great if I went to meet him without any make up on (not that I usually use much, just the basic stuff) or with an unruly hair (which is always the case) and has never tried to get me to straigtened my hair or something "just so I would look better" (it has happened to me before). But on the other hand, would always support me if I wanted to do something like cut my hair really short even if he likes it if I keep it long.

Don't get me wrong, it's not that I love him for the things that he does for me. I love him simply because I do and that makes me happy (of course, it certainly is a bonus that he is such a wonderful guy!) I love you so much Syg!

"I wouldn't mind showing the whole world my weaknesses just so 1 person can see even one of his strength"

2008-10-10T16:06:00.000+08:00

A WEIRD DAY AT THE OFFICE

Less than an hour before this is written, I actually had a NURSERY RHYME showdown with my BOSS! Can't exactly remember how it started (talk about a serious case of spacing out) but he said something about where there will come a day when I need to know all the nursery rhymes. To which I reply that I do know all the nursery rhymes, which leads to the following conversation (in summary):-

Boss: Oh really?? (while giving a mischievous look and smile)

Me : Yup!

Boss: Okay, what about Little Miss Muffet?

Me : Sat on a tuffet.

Boss: Alright, let see if you know this one. Hickory, Dickory Dock?

Me : The mouse ran up the clock.

Boss: This is a tough one. Sixpence Song (btw it is actually

called Sing a Song of Sixpence)

Me : (desperately searching my memory for it cuz it sounds very

familiar) I know that but I can't remember how it goes...

Boss: Hahahaha... (with a happy look on his face)

So there you have it, my weird day at the office! Anyway, this is how the SING A SONG OF SIXPENCE GOES:-

Sing a song of sixpence, A pocket full of rye,

Four and twenty blackbirds, Baked in a pie.

When the pie was opened, The birds began to sing,

Now wasn't that a dainty dish, To set before the King?

The King was in his counting house, Counting out his money,

The Queen was in the parlour, Eating bread and honey.

The maid was in the garden, Hanging out the clothes,

When down came a blackbird, And pecked off her nose.

Versi Bahasa Melayu:-

Lagu tiga kupang, saku penuh padi,

6 ekor burung, masuk dalam kuali.

Bila sudah masak, burung nyanyi saja,

Tentu sedap makan, beri pada raja.

Raja dalam rumah, buat kira-kira,

Suri dalam dapur, makan roti gula.

Dayang tepi kolam, mahu jemur tepung,

Datang burung hitam, patuk batang hidung.

Huhuhuhu... :)

2008-10-08T10:25:00.000+08:00

LOST & FOUND

You wiped away the tears
I didn't know I was crying
You helped heal the pain
I wasn't aware I was feeling
You make me feel
All that I thought
I could never feel again
With each kiss
You returned all that was lost to me
I hope that
This will be my happy ending
But even if it's not
I'm still glad
That I found you!

2008-09-23T09:09:00.000+08:00

WOMEN'S CROWN

What is the big deal about long hair? It tends to get really messy and somehow always manages to tangle themselves really bad. It gets into your eye, your mouth and sometimes when you're wearing a really moist lipbalm, it'll get stuck to your lips. It tickles your neck, your shoulder, your back, your face, your nose. When you try to pull it away, some strands would always gets left behind and no matter how much you try to pull it away from your face, it never moves.
It gets worse during a particularly hot day and you're sweating like a pig. Long hair just doesn't go well with a hot weather. And if you have really frizzy, curly and /or out of control and dry crazy wavy hair, keeping it long will only make it look even worse. I'm not too crazy about long hair. What I do love is my new haircut that gives me a slightly more manageable hair! Yay me!

2008-09-17T08:48:00.000+08:00

Master of none

I love to try and learn new things but I get bored easily. When I was 3, I learned to swim and I actually got really good at it, was even a teacher's pet and all. But then I got bored. When I was in standard 2, I got really interested in taekwondo, begged my mom to let me sign up and convinced my grandma that it's not dangerous and that I'm not gonna break every bone in my lil body until they say yes. I managed to get my yellow belt and was already competing in tournaments but I got bored again a day before I was to go for my green belt grading. I felt pressured and felt that all the training was too much for me and that I have no time for fun as I was training every weekend.
As I got older, I developed new interests and tried lots of new things. Some I just picked up where I left off. I started swimming lessons again when I was 13 and actually trained to be a lifeguard when I was in 2nd or 3rd year of Uni and when I was 19, I started to take up martial arts again only this time it was karate and I think I was OK at it. Certainly stick to it much longer than taekwondo and was very actively participating in tournaments until something devastating happened but that's another story.
Anyway, I still get bored easily but not of the things that I was doing but of not doing anything. I always had to be doing something. I was a cheerleader, I took up new languages, played lots of sports, participated in plays and even theater while I was taking an unplanned break from karate because I got really bored of not doing anything else but studying. I also started volunteering.
I tried and did a lot different stuff and I guess I know enough of each of those things or at least I can say that I've been there, done that even if I'm not a total expert at it. Jack of all trades, master of none. Just the way I like it, at least for now.
In a true Nik Waheeda tradition, I have now taken up new things to try out: I'm learning mandarin and my sisters bought me a guitar so I'm planning on taking guitar lessons soon!

2008-08-28T14:46:00.000+08:00

4BIA (Thai)(U)

I love horror movies. Everytime there's a new horror movie out, I'd go watch it at the cinema or everytime I go to the cinema, I would always look out for horror movies first.
Last week, I went to One Utama with my boyfriend to watch a thriller movie, another favourite genre of mine. That was when I saw this quite plain looking poster. Nonetheless, it had caught my attention because it looked like it could be a horror movie and as I said I'm always on the look out for them.
Anyway, finally I went to see it last tuesday but was not expecting much of it as it was classified as U. My expectation was wrong!
4bia is unlike all its peers where at the end of it, it is all a dream but the hero/heroin would find that the scratches they got in the dream is also there when they woke up, or that the supernatural being would only appear in mirror reflection or would only manifest itself in every other form but itself or the shy type supernatural being where they would tap the victim or something and then dissappear etc and the list goes on and on. Dont get me wrong, I'm not saying that all the other movie is necessarily bad. Some of them are actually pretty scary. But what I'm trying to say is when I go to see a horror movie, I expect to see ghost in its own form in the movie. Not ghost camouflaged in appliances or in the human beings and such.
That is what 4bia is serving to the audience. A generous portion of ghost as expected from a horror movie. It confirms your fear that everytime you hear something or thought that you see something, there really is something scary coming your way and not merely your overactive imagination. 4bia consist of 4 different stories, all equally entertaining in their own right even if it differ in the style as each story is told by a different directors with their own unique style.
The first story is about a lonely girl making friend with a lonely boy through text messaging, the second story is about a bullied student taking revenge, the third story is about a group of friends who went on a camping trip and the last story is about the scary experience of a flight attendant while on duty. On top of the scary stories, there are also blood and gore and also comedy which surprisingly enough, blend well together and does not make it any less scary. I say it's a must watch for horror movie enthusiast.

(Poster courtesy of www.enjoythaimovies.com)

2008-08-25T17:55:00.000+08:00

OF FOOD AND ORAL HEALTH

I dont know if this is a well-known fact but I sure love to eat. If there's anything that gets in the way of my enjoyment of food, I get really irritated, like slow waiters and waitresses, a packed restaurant etc (you get the idea).
So, just imagine my frustration when my throat started to get sore last week and it hurts everytime I swallow. At first I thought it was because of something I ate but when it didnt stop hurting till this week and worse, I think I might have ulcers too or maybe my wisdom tooth is growing. Either way, it hurts when I chew which means eating is now officially torture.
When I cant even enjoy my fave food last night, that was when I decided that maybe its time to go see a doctor. So I went and taking one look at it she shakes her and told me that my tonsil is swelling my throat slightly inflamed. I was then prescribed antibiotics, lozenge and something for gargling.
If there's one thing I hate more than an injection, is gargling with gargling liquid. But I thought if I want to start enjoying my food again, I better just close my eyes, tilt back my head, take a deep breath, put that horrid liquid in and gargle. I hate it but if it'll help me get better, guess I'll just have to brave through it. All for my love of food... and of course oral health.

2008-08-19T10:03:00.000+08:00

RECYCLE BIN, NOT RUBBISH BIN

Yesterday was hell. I slept late the night before trying to finish some work, a submission to be precise which the boss wanted to see the next day. I even sacrificed going to a play that i wanted to see just so i could do my work.
anyway, so yesterday morning, woke up early despite not having enough sleep as i have to go to court for 3 matters. At about noon, i went back to the office, and as expected my boss started asking about the submission. I told him I need a little more time as it is not quite finish and i still need to . He said okay and i started to work on it. Even skipped lunch just so I could finish it before having a meeting with a client at 3. I was just about to start on the conclusion when the clients came so I hit the save button and went to see the client.
By now, i was starving and was so tired and sleepy and i could feel a headache coming so i thought that after the meeting and as soon as i finish the conclusion, i would go and have something to eat. finally... I was so wrong!
After the meeting I went back to my room, excited to finish the submission so I could go eat. Before I started on the conclusion, out of habit, i hit the save button again just to be sure i would lose anything. Again, I was wrong. when I hit the save button, instead of saving my work, it went into error. A dialogue box came out and said "WORD HAS LOST DATA DUE TO BAD CONNECTION" or something like that and deleted the whole freaking document, the whole submission that i was working on since last week. Tried to retrieve it through document recovery but it was useless. Like I said, it deleted the whole document, not only the unsaved parts of it. Which meant that I had lost the whole thing. There was nothing I could do. Naturally, I freaked out and wanted to cry my eyes out but I was so tired and shocked that I just sat there staring at the computer screen and clicking the mouse aimlessly hoping for a miracle.
After a while, still feeling dazed, I started to type back what I could remember from the submission. Most of them being what i just typed earlier today. Luckily, i had written some of the points down. But it was just not the same. At that point, my only goal was about to finish the submission and not about doing it well anymore. I dunno what I was going to tell my boss. Suddenly, I remembered that i had deleted the earlier draft of the submission last week. I prayed really hard that it would still be in the recycle bin and that I could restore it so it won't be so bad. Then I only have to redo the parts that i did at home and the parts that i did earlier that day.
Alhamdulillah, when I opened the recycle bin, there it was, my precious, precious draft submission. i was soo happy, i could cry. but i didn't. in the end, I did manage to finish it though not so well. What a day! So peeps, remember to save your work in SEVERAL different places and RECYCLE.

2008-08-11T14:45:00.000+08:00

THE POWERS OF FOOD

Last night, i went out with my dad to have dinner at our fave steamboat restaurant. On our way there, we chatted about all sorts of stuff and of course, both of us being 'kaki makan', some how eventually our conversation always turns to food. About a new place we should try or a new recipe etc.
Anyway, I was telling him about Nasi Pakapau recipe (another one of our fave). For those who are thinking what the heck is Nasi Pakapau, it is actually a simple meal of white rice, minced beef or chicken, fried with some sort of an herb and fried egg, a choice between a sunny side up or telur dadar. But don't ever be fooled by its simplicity. It is actually very good. Anyway, I was telling him that I think I know what herb it is that they put in the minced meat that makes it taste sooo good and maybe we should try it some time.
Then suddenly, he said, "Macam mana nenek masak nasi goreng la. Kan dia goreng sekali dengan hirisan daun sup. Ikan bilis pulak dia tumbuk-tumbuk dulu baru campur dalam paste nasi goreng tu. Tu yang buat sedap tu. Bila tergigit hirisan daun sup buat rasa dia lain sikit, tapi sedap..." My dad seldom talks about my nenek (this is my nenek on my mother's side by the way, whom I was so close to that they call me 'anak nenek'). She passed away about 2 years ago but I still miss her terribly. Anyway, as I was saying, when my dad mentioned her last night, I can almost taste her nasi goreng and more importantly, I felt as if she was still around and at that moment, though I miss her more than ever, it doesn't hurt so bad.
That is when I realize that even though she's gone, my beloved nenek lives on, through her cooking. She was a great cook, she loves cooking and what makes her cooking taste so good and special,even if it was something simple is not only because of how she does it but because she cooks with love and that was what I tasted (or felt) last night when I thought I tasted her nasi goreng. And thus, she lives on...

2008-07-31T17:28:00.000+08:00

LOSING MY MARBLES...

I just did something crazy! This weekend, 3 of my friends and I are going on a saving seahorse and conserving seahorse habitat volunteering trip to Sungai Pulai and Kukup National Park Johor which is organized by the KL Bar Environmental Committee and the Malaysian Nature Society in collaboration with Save Our Seahorses, a non-profit organization, purpose of which is pretty obvious from the name.
Anyway, I received a phone call yesterday from the organizing committee asking if I am able to climb stairs up to 5 storey high non stop in order to determine our fitness level. If I were asked this question 3 years ago, I would be confident to say yes in a heartbeat without even thinking about it but now, frankly speaking, though I am embarrass to admit it, I am not so sure I can even make 2 flights of stairs without gasping for air.
So I thought to myself, hey why don't I conduct a little experiment to see if I can do it (at this point of time, I have already submitted the form saying that I can do it.. :p). Anyway, it was around 4.00 pm and feeling bored in my office, I thought that this would be a good time as any to try and see if I can do it. So I went down by the elevator to get some ice cream and started my little experiment. The original plan was to climb only up to level 5 (my office is located on the 15th floor) but somehow, I ended up taking the stairs all the way up to level 15. Surprisingly, I did better than I thought I would which is good since I already said yes in the form hehe.
I have no idea how I managed to do it but I'm guessing it has something to do with me having chocolate ice cream while climbing all those stairs and partly because I wasn't exactly rushing to go back to the office...

2008-07-31T13:59:00.000+08:00

HERE, THERE, EVERYWHERE...

Now i am more convinced than ever (not that i need anymore convincing) that some people are simply just allergic to being polite. Sometimes, it even looks like they go out of their way to be rude. How hard does it take to be polite or at least a little nicer? It won't kill and won't even cost anything. I have to admit that there is a possibility that some of these rude people are nice and respectful towards their friends, family and/or acquaintances but to me that means nothing if they cannot find it in them to be polite to others. Just because you don't know someone does not justify you to be rude to them. Especially, but not limited to those in the service industry, you have to be courteous to the customers and to not look like the angel of death while dealing with customers because that is your job! If you don't like to deal with people, then maybe it's high time you look for another job that does not involve dealing with people. Okay, again i have to admit that maybe this attitude is caused by stress with having to deal with all sorts of customers and their behaviours which sometimes can be ridiculous but do not take it out on others! And you have to bear in mind that sometimes customers act ridiculously due to the fact that they don't know what to do or how to go about doing something which is why you are there in the first place which is to assist these customers. You can't expect people to know everything. But then again, it seems that these rude people are always in a bad mood one way or another and always finding faults with others just so they have excuse to be rude. Some don't even need reasons. Like i said, maybe they are allergic or simply incapable of being polite!

2008-07-24T16:51:00.000+08:00

CUTENESS WRITES...

Hi everyone. My name is Cuteness. That's me in the picture above. That is an old picture of mine when i was only a couple of months old. That's my birth mom, Miow in the background. You can't really see her face in this picture but i will show you a picture of her but not now.
I am 2 years old. I just turned 2 last June. On the 29th to be exact. To celebrate my birthday, I got a special treat from my mommy.
I was born in a litter of 4 but my brothers and sisters died.It's sort of a long story so I won't tell it now.
I guess that's it for now but I will be back because i have lots of stories to tell. Being a cat is fun especially if you have a mommy who loves you very much..

2008-07-23T12:00:00.000+08:00

ALL KINDS OF LOVE

I watched this video on YouTube while I was at work (my favorite part is when the lion started to run towards the 2 guys... awww) but that didn't stop me from crying. I think my receptionist saw me and thought I was crazy. The video made me think of my cat and made me miss him so much that I wish I was at home just so I could give him a big hug even if I know that he would squirm like crazy. Anyway, this video of Christian the lion has gotten so many feedback, many of which said something more or less about what I wrote earlier but there were some who doubted the authenticity of the video and/or the event itself but spoof or not, I think this is a must watch video for all, animal lovers or not. This is a proof that nature is amazing and full of surprises, one way or another. Though we can never fully understand the way nature works, we can nevertheless learn a thing or two from them. So, it's never too late to start treating mother nature and animals better. Animals deserve to live a good life too!

p/s I am dedicating this clip to my Cuteness and to all my pets, past,present and future! Love you all so much...

2008-07-22T10:45:00.000+08:00

UNTITLED

You wiped away the tears
I didn't know I was crying
You helped heal the pain
I wasn't aware i was feeling
You make me feel
All that I thought
I could never feel again
With each kiss
You returned all that was lost to me
I hope that
This will be my happy ending
But with hope comes fear
Afraid that the more you know me
The more you realize
That this could never be
Driving you away from me
So afraid
That one day i'll wake up
Only to find that you're gone
Leaving me all alone
Yet again;
And more.

(23/6/2007)

2008-07-18T09:56:00.000+08:00

UNEXPECTED JOURNEY

I thought i was going to die! My throat was parched, my legs were throbbing, begging me to stop and the burden i was carrying was not making the journey any easier. Sometimes i wondered why was i subjecting myself to this torture and even came close to just dropping everything in order to go on with the gruelling journey and save myself but i didn't, thinking of the dire consequences i would face if i did. So, i trudged on as any hope of surviving gradually fades.
Along the journey, my only comfort was knowing that i was not alone as i came across the occasional creatures lurking along, wandering aimlessly, looking as lost as i was. The thought of asking them for help crossed my mind but i doubted if they could help me, the look of fear on their faces. And i didn't dare ask the other fierce looking creatures though they seemed to know exactly where to go because i doubted if where they were going is where i wanted to go.
So i kept on walking till i saw a dim light at the end of the long, winding, seems endless corridor. I was overjoyed, this is not the end of me after all, i thought, but still i approached the light with caution. As the light grew near, my heart beats faster and as i walked into the light, i sighed a deep breath of relief. Finally, i thought, i have reached the lobby of the Jalan Duta Court Complex!

2008-07-18T08:00:00.000+08:00

EVERY NEW BEGINNING COMES FROM SOME OTHER BEGINNING'S
END

SENECA QUOTES (Roman Philosopher, mid-1st Century AD)

2007-03-14T16:23:00.001+08:00

DEMO ANTI PERANG!

ANTI WAR COALITION RALLY - "Out of Iraq! Stop FTA!"

On the 4th anniversary of USA aggression
Date : 18 March 2007 (Sunday)
Time : 10 a.m.
Venue : US Embassy, Jalan Tun Razak

GABUNGAN ANTI PERANG PROTES - "Keluar dari Iraq! Hentikan FTA!"

Sempena ulangtahun ke-4 keganasan Amerika di Iraq
Tarikh : 18 Mac 2007 (Ahad)
Masa : 10 pagi
Tempat : di hadapan Kedutaan Amerika, Jalan Tun Razak

2007-01-20T11:29:00.000+08:00

JOM PEGI!

“Expose War Crimes – Criminalise War”

International Conference
Date : 5th to 7th February 2007
Venue : Dewan Merdeka, Putra WorldTrade CentreKuala Lumpur

War Crimes Exhibition
Date : 5th to 11th February 2007
Time : 10am to 6pm
Venue: Putra World Trade Centre

"LETS CRIMINALISE WAR"

2006-11-28T08:51:00.000+08:00

www.malaysiabuskers.com

2006-11-14T08:33:00.000+08:00

STOP ONLINE CHILD PORNOGRAPHY! VISIT www.lightamillioncandles.com TO LIGHT A CANDLE TO SHOW YOUR SUPPORT!

2006-09-09T09:52:00.000+08:00

Ada sorang kawan aku pernah kata kat aku,

"gigi ni lebih kurang macam wife la, dia berkhidmat untuk kita, tolong kita macam-macam, tp kalau kita abaikan dia n tak jaga dia baik-baik, dia akan tinggalkan kita. bila dah jadi macam tu, kita la yang sakit n susah. masa tu baru menyesal tak jaga baik-baik."

2006-08-29T04:45:00.000+08:00

NOW WHAT?

sabtu lepas hari konvokesyen aku. it was everything i thought it would be and more. perasaan memang bercampur-baur. sedih ada, happy ada, rasa kosong pun ada gak. keluar je dari dewan, cari family aku pastu sibuk la bergambar ngan member-member. walaupun tengah hari buta yang terik tu memang panas tambah plak dgn crowdednye tempat tu tp tak nak bukak gak robe tu. biar la peluh macam air terjun skali pun, robe takkan bukak! tapi frust gak sebab tak dpt bergambar ngan semua member2 sebab yela, time tu smua org pun busy ngan family dan lain-lain.. dalam happy-happy tu, tetiba kawan aku ckp, "ala, sedihnye, lepas ni, there's nothing to look forward to anymore." tetiba semua org senyap. aku pun terfikir, betul gak. dulu masa kat matrik tak sabar2 na masuk main camp, da masuk main camp, looking forward nak masuk semester baru. dah habis, looking forward nak convo. sekarang da convo, dah takde bende dah la. memang la ada banyak bende lain lagi sebab untuk kita lalui kalau ditakdirkan umur panjang cam keje, kawen dll. tp tak sama. kiranya, satu chapter dalam hidup kita dah tamat. 3 hari aku spend kat uia. bila time nak balik hari ahad tu, rasa berat jer.. pape pun, life must go on. tapi dalam 4 + 1 tahun (matrik) aku kat uia, mmg banyak bende yang aku dapat belajar dan buat, ramai org yang aku dapat jumpa, dapat lalui saat-saat paling manis dan paling sedih.
terima kasih pada semua yang 'terlibat'. member2 yang rapat dan yang tak rapat(uia atau tak), classmates, lecturers, roomates, member2 lifeguard, budak2 karate, budak2 teater(Hungry team, we had a good time didnt we?), Tailerag-ers (keep up the good work u guys n thanks for the candles :) )and last but not least, LAW 20, what can i say? we're not perfect, but we're friends right?
pada sesapa yang tertinggal tu, sorry. mebbe aku overlook or mebbe aku rasa tak le na sebut kat sini. tp just because aku tak sebut tak bermakna aku tak ingat or tak hargai korang. mebbe even more..

2006-08-22T09:03:00.000+08:00

LAST GIFT

this love is like a curse,
that runs through me like poison,
memory of what used to be haunts me like a nightmare,
fed by thoughts of what could've been,
that refuses to be healed by time,
as life drains out of me with every crimson drop,
till death do us part;
this is my gift to you

2006-08-20T16:33:00.000+08:00

today i went to collect my graduation robe. it was the first day for us to go and collect it so i decided to go as early as possible so i would get the right size. it started at 9 and i got there around 9.15. early? i dont think so. by that time, the line was already a mile long. what i thought was the line to collect the robe turns out to be a line to collect the robe collection slip. which they had run out of by that time. so we had to do some waiting. make that a lot of waiting. the moment we got the necessary form or slip or whatever, we excitedly walked over to the next line which we thought is the line to collect the robe. unfortunately, its not. its merely a line for us to submit our forms and whatever needs to be submitted. more waiting. then, we move on to the next line which we prayed so hard to be THE line for robe collecting. thank god it is. but by now, we know better than to expect the line to move swiftly and expediently. which of course it doesnt. the first time that our expectations are met. anyway, after more waiting (whatelse is new), i manage to get my robe. much to my annoyance, it wasnt the right size. it was far too big for me and i looked like a big flappy bird trying to spread its wings and fly. when we thought the ordeal is finally over, we found out that there is yet another line and more waiting to be done. well, shame on us i suppose cuz by now, we should've known that they are not gonna let us go that easily. one last time to make our life miserable. whatever it is, i hope its gonna be worth it the moment we have our scrolls in our hands. and really do hope i can change my robe for a smaller size tomorrow.

2006-07-24T23:06:00.000+08:00

RE-CYCLE review
when sci-fi and horror genre marries, they give birth to 'Re-cycle'. Pang brothers never fails to scare. though some horror movie buff may not disagree that this is a horror movie but in my humble view it is and it is also one of the best horror movie that i've watched this year so far. instead of bringing horror to normal everyday things or appliances such as telephone, television or office that is being haunted etc which is the tried and tested formula, they tapped into the subconscious fear of every human that is the fear of the unknown, abandonment and the power of one's imagination which in my view is a winning combination. if you're not a horror movie fan but in the mood for one, this a good movie to satisfy that craving.but be warned, you might get hooked.

2006-07-09T15:28:00.000+08:00

Impian Seorang Nelayan (M.Nasir)

Burung Camar hinggap di jejari
Seorang nelayan sedang bermimpi
Mimpi tentang duyung
Mimpi tentang untung
Biduk hanyut dibawa ombak
Laut Cina Selatan

Dalam mimpi berkata sang duyung
"Wahai nelayan kau anak laut
Di sini tempatmu
Di sini rezekimu
Pengorbanan yang kau lakukan
Ada balasannya"

Mega mendong
Laut pun bergoncang
Nelayan tersentak biduk sesat haluan
Sang mentari terlindung
Pantai tak kelihatan
Tawakkal jalan akhirnya

Dalam pondok kecil beratap rumbia
Seorang ibu memandang hari muka
Sambil ia menyusukan bayi yang kehausan
Ufuk timur hilang dari pandangan

Wahai anak yang sedang menangis
Mungkin kini engkau tak mengerti
Bila kau dewasa dan pandai nanti
Pengorbanan ayahmu sayang
Jangan kau lupakan

Masa korang sekolah dulu mesti korang pernah terlibat dgn persembahan kat sekolah. tak kisah la persembahan masa hari penyampaian hadiah ke, hari guru ke.. aku pun selalu gak terlibat ngan bende-bende macam ni masa sekolah dulu. especially masa sekolah rendah dulu. salah satunya, persembahan musikal masa aku darjah 4 atau 5. musikal tu guna lagu kembara kat atas ni. masa tu aku mmg suka lagu tu tp tak tau sapa nyanyi sampai la aku dgr lagu ni baru-baru ni. anyway, dalam musikal tu takde la dialog atau ape. kitorang just lakonkan watak-watak yang ada dlm lagu ni sambil diiringi lagu ni. aku pun tak bape ingat sangat camne musikal tu tapi aku ingat ade watak duyung, ada watak nelayan, ada watak ibu. siap ada ombak, sampan and kitorang siap guna jala betul tau utk watak nelayan. berat giler jala tu. masa tu aku pegang watak ibu tu. aku nyer props, anak patung and botol susu. costume plak, pakai kain batik dan baju kurung.. hehe. bile ingat balik, kelakar plak. tp mmg seronok...

2006-06-01T12:11:00.000+08:00

LETTER WRITING WORKSHOP 2

I used to think that nobody really reads the letter to the editors’ column for the simple fact that I don’t and the reason that I don’t is that the letters that gets printed are usually letters that are full of praises to the respective paper or some other thing and most of the time, they don’t even deserve it. Another reason is more personal. Once I had written a letter to the editor but it didn’t make it to the printer. So, I stopped reading it altogether. It turns out that it is quite a popular column and it is also one of the easiest, fastest and most effective venue for people to voice out their concerns on matters affecting their rights, among others.

So, how do we start exercising our right to freedom of speech?

• read local magazines and newspapers more so you’ll be updated on the current issues. It is also a good way to collect info on the issue you wanted to put forward
• the letters can be used to bring forward a new issue and doesn’t have to be an answer to another issue or statement
• write about both the good and also the bad. Your letter doesn’t have to be all about critisizing.
• If possible have it typed. But a handwritten letter is just as good. Just make sure its readable and have someone check it for grammar, spelling and stuff
• Don’t forget to include your name, address phone number in the letter but you may ask the editor to use a psuedonym instead.
• Share your letter with friends. If it doesn’t get printed, you can put it up somewhere else i.e. your blog etc. The whole point is to get your point across.
• it also applies to television and radio stations.

2006-05-21T13:45:00.000+08:00

LETTER WRITING WORKSHOP 1

Today, me and my sis went to a letter writing workshop organized by Sisters in Islam and Food Not Bombs, held at SIS office in PJ. i went, firstly because i had nothing better to do so i figured daripada melepak je kat umah tengok tv, baik aku buat something yang berfaedah. secondly, it sounds interesting plus i wanna learn how to write a letter that somebody would actually read and one that the editor would actually print in their newspaper. dulu aku penah tulis surat kepada editor tp tak tersiar and it felt really bad.. hahaha. the workshop was really fun, informative plus i get to meet new people. we also wrote some letters that was sent to the respective newspaper. we waiting to see if any of it will get printed (fingers cross!!) so now, i wanna share with you people how to write a good letter to the editor but it will be in my next entry.. stay tune!!

2006-05-08T13:15:00.000+08:00

DIFFERENCE THAT MATTERS

The difference between not appreciating the ones you love and those you dont is that the former, once you realize it, you feel really bad and i became clear to you that you really do love them and vow to do better and not hurt them anymore. the latter just makes you wonder why you didn't figure it out sooner.

2006-05-08T13:07:00.000+08:00

LAST GIFT

this love is like a curse,

that runs through me like poison,

memory of what used to be haunts me like a nighmare,

fed by thoughts of what could've been,

that refuses to be healed by time,

as life drains out of me with every crimson drop,

till death do us part;

this is my gift to you

2006-03-26T15:18:00.000+08:00

UPSIDE DOWN, INSIDE OUT

aku baru jer lepas amek exam professional paper td. first paper utk final sem final year aku nih. dan skng aku tgh duduk kt cc nak download software nak wat keje2 editorial utk yearbook batch aku yg tak siap2 lagi nih. dan aku tgh pening kepala sbb bende ni nak distribute masa dinner kitorang yang lagi 2 minggu. tak tau sempat ke tak nak wat. dah la aku still ada lagi 5 paper nak abes. pastu, dah la baru satu firm panggil aku for interview drpd 6 firm yg aku dah antar resume aku. satu lg firm dah reject aku. takpe, die tanak aku, aku pun tanak die.. (dlm hati, tuhan je tau betapa sedihnya aku.. heheh. kene rejek la katakan). dah final2 sem nih la, byk plak aktiviti aku. tu la, sapa suh gatal nak jadi komiti tu la, komiti ni la. sendiri carik pasal, takle la nak komplen lebih2 kan.. tp sem nih mmg aku bz giler.. jadual exam pun cam giler. 2 paper back to back pastu selang 5 hari, 3 paper back to back.. fuh.. pendek kata, hidup aku sem nih mmg cam giler lah.. berat pun turun lagi.. hehe.

2006-03-16T04:05:00.000+08:00

HILANG (OST GARASI)

di manakah cinta sejati
yang memberi ketenangan hati
sampai kapanku harus menanti,
kau pergi dan mungkin tak kan kembali
dan aku menangis dan aku terluka
bila
dan aku menangis dan aku terluka
bila
engkau menghilang
kau pergi dari ku tinggal kan ku
lewati malam tanpa kasihmu
ku rangkai kata
ku rangkai nada
yang ku ingin hanyalah cinta
dan semua menghilang
dan semua menghilang
dan semua menghilang
semua karena cinta ku menangis
semua karena cinta ku tertawa
semua karena cinta
semua karena cinta
dan kau tinggalkan hanyalah luka
dan semua menghilang
dan semua menghilang
dan semua menghilang

2006-03-16T03:55:00.000+08:00

Sembahyang Jumaat

2, 3 minggu lepas, 2 orang kawan aku nih, macam ari-ari jumaat yang lain nak la pegi sembahyang jumaat. Tp pagi tuh, diorang pegi gym dulu. Diorang nih ade bisnes sendiri so sukati diorang la nak gi opis kul bape pun. Lepas dah mandi smua, diorang pun bersiap la nak gi smayang. Nak dijadikan cerita, diorang sampai awal kat masjid so sebab masing-masing kuar rumah awal, plan la nak tido jap dalam keta sebelum khutbah start. Pasang aircond, diorang pun tido la. Tak lama lepas tu, kawan aku yang sorang ni tersedar. Tp die rasa pelik sbb ramai org lalu sebelah keta diorang, yang kebetulan diparking betul-betul depan pintu masuk masjid, menuju ke luar, bukan ke arah masjid. Sambil tu, orang-orang yang lalu lalang tu smua cam pandang-pandang and jeling-jeling dalam keta. Kawan aku yang sorang lagi ni still tido lagi. Bile kawan aku tgk jam, baru die sedar, rupa-rupanya org dah abes smayang jumaat. Die pun terus kejut kawan aku yang sorang lagi and dengan muka selamber and control abes terus start keta pastu balik. Malu toksah cakap la.

2006-03-16T03:50:00.001+08:00

Resume 2

Aritu aku dah antar resume aku kat 2, 3 tempat yang aku rase cam best la nak wat chambering. Seminggu aku tunggu takde pape respon lagi. At last, aku check la email aku. Satu firm ada bagi email. Aku pun dgn hati yang berdebar-debar bukak la email tuh. Bukak jer email tuh, rase malu dan menggelabah terus menguasai diri aku yng memang dah sedia cuak nih. Mana tak, firm tu ckp dia mmg ada terima email dari aku tp alamat yang aku tulis dalam surat tuh untuk firm lain. Tuhan jer yang tau perasaan aku masa tuh. Aku pun dgn pantas tulis email baru nak ckp yang aku mmg niat nak anta kat firm die and aku tertulis alamat lain tuh sbb typo. Skng aku tgh tunggu dgn perasaan berdebar-debar balasan dari diorang. Harap-harap diorang masih berminat nak panggil aku interview. Hampeh tul, belum pape dah buat silap.

2006-03-16T03:50:00.000+08:00

Sijil

Baru-baru nih, aku korek-korek balik almari buku aku kat umah pasal nak cari smua sijil-sijil aku drpd zaman-zaman skolah rendah dulu sampai la skarang nih. Yela, dah siap antar resume, nanti bile kene panggil interview nanti, nak bawak la smua sijil-sijil nih. Tgh aku membelek dan memilih mana sijil yang aku nak masukkan dalam fail aku untuk bawak nanti, aku teringat la kat satu notis yang aku terbaca semester lepas kat kolej aku. Notis tu pasal lawatan sambil blaja ke melaka yang kolej aku nak anjurkanlah. Notis tu biasa jer, macam notis-notis lain yang banyak tertampal kat merata-rata kat kolej aku even dalam bilik air. Tp kat hujung notis tu ade satu bende yang buatkan aku tergelak sorang-sorang. Kat notis tu tertulis yang sijil akan diberikan kepada peserta lawatan nih. Ok, aku paham la betapa pentingnya sijil nak tunjuk yang kite nih aktif la kan dan sebagai bukti kite terlibat ngan akitiviti sampingan, tak la belajar jer tp aku kelakar bile lawatan makan angin macam nih pun nak bagi sijil. Pegi jalan-jalan pun dapat sijil. Kalau sijil tu bagi kat komiti yang terlibat menganjurkan lawatan nih aku paham la. Kalau aku pegi lawatan tuh dan dapat sijil tu, tak sanggup aku nak bawak pegi interview.. hehe. Nak jadi kenangan ble lar kot. Tp klu nak wat kenangan, bagi la cenderamata, lagi bes.

2006-03-14T08:00:00.000+08:00

freedom of expression

baru-baru nih kite telah digemparkan oleh karikatur menghina nabi yang disiarkan kat dalam satu akhbar tabloid kat denmark. bile org Islam kecam tindakan tersebut dan minta diorang apologize, diorang kata itu hak diorang, that is the right to the freedom of expression. lepas tu, macam2 la tindakan yang telah diambil oleh pelbagai pihak demi nak tunjukkan bantahan diorang terhadap perbuatan pihak yang terbabit. drpd bentuk yang paling ekstrem macam bakar bendera denmark, buat demo, boikot kepada bantahan yang agak aman sedikit macam tulis blog, forum kat warung2 dan sudah semestinya, berdialog.
baru2 nih, aku ngn 2 org kwn aku pegi la satu dialog yg membincangkan hal karikatur ni lah. ade 3 panelis, smua pun ok tp aku rase yang buat research pasal topik nih dan masa dialog tak penah lari dr topik, sorang je. yg lain tu, memula ok, tp lama2 dah agak lari topik dan lebih kepada politik dan fahaman masing2 yang takde kene mengena ngn topik dialog. tp ok jer.. :) anyway, salah sorang drpd panelis td ade menyebut pasal kebebasan media. die ckp pasal media nih (di malaysia esp) dikongkong oleh terlalu byk akta dan undang2. pastu die ckp, mcm mana kite boleh ckp ruang kebebasan media terhad sedangkan bile difikirkan sebenarnya kite takde ruang langsung? pastu byk la dibincangkan pasal byk bende yg tak lepas cetak dan sebagainya.
aku mmg setuju la yang media atau sesape saje perlu kebebasan utk bersuara. tp aku rase, kebebasan mutlak mmg tak boleh la kan. tak yah pegi jauh2, kite tgk jer kat malaysia, bukan nak sokong memana pihak tp ini hanyalah pandangan aku, mmg slalu la hal ni dibincangkan secara intelek atau tidak kn? byk jer kejadian paper2 kat sini di 'ban' atas pelbagai sebab dan yg terbaru skali paper kt sarawak tu. pastu, timbul la kembali isu kebebasan media di malaysia terhad. aku pun klu boleh, nak media2 di malaysia ni lebih bebas tp kite pasti ker yang rakyat malaysia ni bersedia utk berhadapan dgn 'kebebasan' itu nnt? mcm kwn aku ckp, kite selesa dan dah terbiasa hidup dlm 'comfort zone'. oblivious kepada surrounding dan lagi, kat malaysia nih, berapa byk isu2 yg masih sensitif dan taboo? masih byk isu2 yg bile dicuit sikit, dah melatah, bile disentuh sikit, 'oh.. itu isu sensitif. kite jgn bangkitkan isu sensitif..tak ingat ker peristiwa 13 Mei? atau dah lupa hal kg. Medan?' 'isshh.. bende2 mcm tu tak perlu la dibincangkan secara terbuka..' aku rase ia dah sebati ngn masyarakat kite dan dah jadi budaya kite.
mcm aku ckp, bukan aku tanak media kita lebih bebas, tp aku jugak rasa sebelum kebebasan itu diberikan, kite perlu pastikan yg kite bersedia utk terima. sbb kebebasan ni bukan satu hala, klu kite boleh cerita pasal org dan hal2 yg berkaitan dgn org, kita harus ingat, org pun boleh cerita pasal kita dan hal2 yg berkaitan ngn kite. sebelum kebebasan yg dipinta diberikan, aku rasa ada baiknya cara pemikiran rakyat diubah dulu. tanak la nnt bile smua org dah bebas utk bersuara, lain masalah pulak timbul. dah la harga minyak dah naik giler2.

2006-03-14T07:00:00.000+08:00

"THE TRUTH HURTS MORE BUT HEALS FASTER"

2006-02-28T06:54:00.000+08:00

Resume

akhirnya, masa yang aku tunggu2 selama ni dah tiba. smalam aku dah hantar resume aku melalui email ke firma2 yang aku rase bes dan sesuai ngan minat aku. aku dah tunggu saat ni sejak mula2 menjejakkan kaki ke uni dan setelah 4 tahun memendam perasaan yang tak sabar2, akhirnya aku dah boleh hantar. skang tinggal tunggu diorang panggil interview. ade sorang kawan aku dah kene panggil interview smalam. bukan satu tapi dua interview. sebab kene pegi interview, die takle la pegi tutorial jurisprudence so die pun pegi jumpe lecturer kitorang nak ckp die takle attend klas.
lecturer tu ckp, "ko nak pegi interview chambering? sem ni pun tak abes lagi. prasan lepas je..".
kwn aku ckp, "insyaallah lepas sir."
"klu aku tak bagi ko lepas, tak lepas la. cane aku na lepas kan ko klu ko tak dtg kelas? hahaha"
muka kwn aku pun da brubah so die tanya, "abes tu cane nih sir?"
"dah tu ko nak pegi interview, pegi la. takkan aku na halang pulak".
tp lecturer kitorang tu mmg pelik sket perangai die so kwn aku tak ambik pusing sgt ugutan die. tp citer kwn aku tu mmg membuatkan aku terpikir, betul gak ckp sir tu, beria2 pegi interview tp klu tak lepas cane ek?

2006-02-27T09:27:00.000+08:00

DISCONNECTED

a sorrow so deep
caused by a scar that still bleeds
a life thats lost
with no meaning
a journey with no destination
going around in circles
not lost
yet nowhere to go
confused, hurt, cold, alone, sad
when will this eclipse pass?
was a question that was met by silence.

2006-02-25T10:50:00.000+08:00

Tak best...

smalam aku ade hearing utk subjek civil procedure. memula dpt assignment nih, tak sabar2 aku nak wat. bertungkus-lumus aku siapkan. baca kes tu berulang2 kali smpi klu aku tgh tido org tanya pun aku ble jawab. so, bile dah ari khamis, aku pun dgn semangatnye pakai baju kurung hitam aku, angkut blazer and fail2 n statute2 yang diperlukan. aku sgt yakin la ngn argument aku. harapan mcm nak menang mmg ade la.. pukul 6 lebih hearing start. masa start mmg semangat. halfway through hearing da rasa tak bes. abes hearing terus down. sbb aku kalah... sedih betul aku.. mmg la ni bukan hearing betul2 tp kalah tetap kalah..

2006-02-25T10:30:00.000+08:00

Senyuman...

kwn : haa.. tu nak ckp pape la tu..
aku : laa, mana de.. aku senyum jer.
kwn : ala, mesti ko nak ckp pape, klu tak takkan ko senyum camtu.
aku : aku senyum je la. takde maksud pape pun. slama ni pun mmg aku senyum camni ape..
kwn : tak.. aku kenal la ko. senyum ko nih senyum yg ade maksud, senyum cam cynical, cam sinis pun ade gak, cam perli pun ade gak. mcm2 la. pendek kata, senyuman yang bermakna..
kwn2: betul2. aku setuju. u have a smug smile..
aku : what??? no i don't.
kwn : yes u do. its the way u smile. a cheeky smile. with u its not just a smile..
aku : no its not. its just a smile laa korang. takde maksud pape pun. betul.. tanya la sesapa yang kenal aku...
kwn & kwn2 : kitorang kenal ko ape..
aku : tak kire. haii, aku senyum pun salah..

2006-02-22T12:20:00.000+08:00

Apekah ini???

Aku ade sorang kwn ni. Mmg da lama kenal dan aku sgt sayang kan die. Tahun lepas, die clash ngn bf die. Citer die mmg sdey. Nak citer kt sini pjg sgt lgpun aku bukan na citer pasal tu. Ape yg aku na citer kat sini, pasal ape yg jadi lpas diorang clash. Beberapa bulan lepas tu, bf die dtg balik kat die n nak balik kat die. Budak tu ckp die still syg n na work things out n mcm2 lagi la. Kwn aku mmg still syg kt budak tu so die pun trima la balik walaupun masa break dulu mmg bukan secara baik la. Bile die citer kt aku, mulanye mmg aku tak bape stuju tp bile pk balik, semua org deserve peluang kedua. So aku suport decision die. Lma aku tak dgr citer so aku ingat tgh bahagia la. Rupanya tak. Da break balik. Teruk jugak kali ni. Tp kwn aku still syg lg kt budak tu. Walaupun skng dia lebih berhati2. terbaru skali, budak tu dtg balik dgn niat yg sama. Dan kwn aku masih na trima dia balik. Aku jd confuse. Aku tau betapa kecewanya kwn aku dgn ape yg budak tu buat n betapa sdehnye die. Ye la, bukan skali atau dua kali, tp 3 kali.
Ade kwn aku sorng lagi, kwn rapat jugak. Citer lbey kurang sama. Bf lama die, dtg jumpa die balik n kata die still syg kt kwn aku ni dan masih nak kat die. Juga break dalam keadaan yg tak secara baik.
Bezanya dua citer ni, citer pertama, bf yg mintak break, citer kedua, kwn aku yg tinggalkn bf die. Lg satu, citer pertama tu, dua-dua masih single, tp citer kedua ni, dua-dua dah ade pasangan baru.
Apa yg membuatkn aku terfikir dua citer ni sbb br2 ni ade sorg kwn aku ckp, kdg2 kite perlu berpisah/berjauhan sementara untuk menilai sejauh mn syg atau kecintaan kita pd seseorg. Aku pun tak tau aku setuju ke tak. Sbb klu diorang sama2 setuju utk berpisah atau berpisah secara baik, mungkin tak ada masalah utk kembali bersama. Tp klu keadaan yg sebaliknya, mungkin perasaan syg tu masih ada tp kata2 atau perbuatan yg telah menyakitkan hati pasangan kite tu tak mungkin dpt ditarik balik. Mmg boleh klu na mintak maaf dan mmg boleh utk memaafkan tp utk melupakan, itu yg susah. Tp yelah, perasaan dan emosi adalah antara bende yg sukar utk difahami. klu dah syg, prasaan syg tu akan mengatasi segala2 nya. Mungkin itulah yg terjadi kat kwn aku td.

2006-02-20T13:25:00.000+08:00

Kehilangan part 1

I hope you knew how much I love you and how much I will miss you.
The moment you were out of sight, I knew I had lost a part of me. I can’t stop you and wanted to go with you but I know that’s not possible. I have stopped crying on the outside but not on the inside though I know no matter how much I cry, you would never come back to me. You were gone and there was nothing I can do.
Everybody tried to confort me, saying things that they thought I wanted to hear but it was all in vain. I was too deep in my sorrow, regrets, and the could’ve, would’ve, should’ve… how I felt like it was my fault, how sorry I was for what I didn’t do..

15 November 2005, 8.00a.m: "Kak Eda, Siti nih. Nak cakap... Nenek dah meninggal... Kak Eda??"
".........................................."

p/s Thanks to YOU for helping me get through it, for caring, for cheering me up, basically for being there for me when those I counted upon wouldn’t even try.

2006-02-17T12:00:00.000+08:00

"I WISH I KNEW HOW TO QUIT YOU..."
"THEN WHY DIDN'T YOU? WHY DON'T YOU JUST LET ME BE?"
-BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN

If there's one thing i learned from this movie is that breaking up is easy; letting go is not. Time and space could break people up (absence does make the heart grows fonder... of someone else) but it can take a lifetime, sometimes even longer, to be able to fully let go, if ever. Cause i think, what makes it so hard is that when you let go, you lose a part of yourself as well. So you try to keep it, no matter how much it's hurting or how bad it is for you cuz you just wanna be whole. Even if it's imperfect, at least you are whole.

2006-01-22T16:02:00.000+08:00

AMAZING FACT!

I gained 5kg in just 1 month!
bulan lepas(Disember), berat aku 41kg je. tekejut gak aku sbb tak penah seumur idup aku, berat aku seringan ni. berat normal aku 45kg so kiranya aku underweight la. risau gak aku skejap tp tak lama. bila aku teringat kt baju2 aku yg dah longgar tu, risau pun hilang. sape tak suka kn? hehe. ye ah, walaupun aku tau losing all this weight could not be good for my health, it still feels kinda good. anyway, dlm 3 hari lepas(januari), aku timbang lagi. saja suka2. aku mmg suka timbang berat.. hehe. tekejut lagi aku bile tgk berat aku naik mendadak ke 46kg. berat aku naik 5kg dalam sebulan je! wow! ni lah first time seumur hidup aku berat aku turun serendah tu n first time jugak berat aku naik secepat tu. at least so far la...
nape agaknye eh? ;) heheh.

2006-01-21T07:00:00.000+08:00

TO USE OR NOT TO USE...

kawan 1 : Nik, ko pakai je la tongkat Sarah tu..
aku : Tanak la.
kawan 2 : Ala, pakai je. aku pun tak guna skng
aku : Tanak la.
kawan 1 : Nape?
aku : Ala, kaki aku ok je. ble jalan lagi.bukannyer sakit sgt pun. so tak perlu.
kawan 1 : Degil la ko nih.dah bengkak cam tu pun tak sakit ke?
kawan 2 : Ni ego sbenarnye..
aku : (senyum jer..)

dah 3 hari aku pegi kelas pakai selipar sbb kaki aku bengkak so tak leh na pakai kasut sbb kaki aku kene bandage. aku biasa la, kalau injured bukan sbb lain lg la, mesti sbb training. ade yg tanya nape, ade yg buat muka kesian, ada yg tolong, ade yang marah.. macam2 lagi la... tapi satu bende paling obvious yang aku prasan, bile ko sakit, esp klu yang obvious mcm patah or pape la yang berbalut2 ni, mesti org rajin tegur. org yang tak penah cakap ngn ko pun akan tetiba tegur ko n berbual2 mcm kwn lama.. i'm not saying its something bad, cuma amused.. pape pun aku harap by ahad ni kaki aku da baik sbb firstly, aku ade selection utk tournament ahad ni. i dont want another injury to stop me like last year. klu still sakit pun aku akan pegi gak. secondly, sbb aku penat jalan slow2..

kawan 1 : nik ni degil tau. aku da suruh da guna tongkat aku nih.die tanak.
aku : ala, tanak la.
kawan 2 : abes tu da susah na jalan ni..
aku : aku tanak tongkat, aku nak cari org utk dukung aku...(smbl senyum)
kawan 1 & 2 : ...

2006-01-02T17:14:00.000+08:00

The cruelest thing a guy could do to a girl is make her fall for him when he has no intention of catching her...
(anonymous)

2006-01-02T17:06:00.000+08:00

"My Happy Ending" (Avril Lavigne)

So much for my happy ending

Let's talk this over
It's not like we're dead
Was it something I did?
Was it something You said?
Don't leave me hanging
In a city so dead
Held up up so high
On such a breakable thread

You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be

(You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
And all the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending)

You've got your dumb friends
I know what they say
They tell you I'm difficult
But so are they
But they don't know me
Do they even know you?
All the things you hide from me
All the shit that you do

You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be

(It's nice to know you were there
Thanks for acting like you cared
And making me feel like I was the only one
It's nice to know we had it all
Thanks for watching as I fall
And letting me know we were done)

2006-01-02T16:52:00.000+08:00

If something feels too good to be true, then more often than not, it probably is...

2005-12-31T05:52:00.000+08:00

FroG PrincE...

penah dgr or terbaca tak org ckp, 'i had to kiss a lot of frogs before i found my prince'?
pada aku, there no frogs. they are all princes, just not the right prince for u. just because they are not right for u, does not make them a frog. it only means that they are NOT YOUR prince.
then again, having said that, there are some genuine frogs out there trying to pass off as a prince... no offence..

2005-12-16T18:18:00.000+08:00

A Time to Heal

I’ve started training again after a year of unplanned break. I did plan to take a break but only for 3 month or so but somehow it dragged on to a year. At first I was held back by my health. I was too weak to start training again. By the time I was feeling better, fear, shame, disappointment that I thought I had gotten over is still there and very much alive. I guess I’m still weak emotionally and mentally.
All this while, I know I miss it a lot. But I never know how much I miss it until I finally manage to go today. I miss the adrenaline rush that I get when I spar. Gets me high.. I miss everything about karate even the blisters and bruises. Sound silly but its true. It makes me feel alive, real. And more importantly, it helps me forget all my problems, even if only for a while. The physical pain helps me to take mind of the pain I feel inside. Even better when I bleed. I guess I understand why people cut themselves.
I’m not saying that I’m addicted to pain or that I condone self mutilation. I’m just saying that I understand why people do that. It helps them to cope emotionally. They’re letting it all out. Some cry, some destroy stuff, some curses etc but when even all that doesn’t help anymore, some resort to self mutilation. Makes them feel better to turn the emotional pain into physical pain simply cuz physical pain is real. And sooner or later it heals..
Anyway, I feel better tonight than I have the last few months, even if my feet hurts like hell cuz of the blisters. Now I cant wait for the bruises..

ThE RighT ThinG...

2005-11-14T18:16:00.000+08:00

ThE RighT ThinG...

Sometimes its hard to do the right thing. Correction. Make it, ALWAYS hard to do the right thing. Especially so when you’ve been wronged. In such circumstances, when emotion is unstable, feelings hurt, rights violated, not many can think straight. Let alone decide on whats right or wrong. We focus on how to make ourselves feel better and more often than not, revenge always seems to be the best solution/answer. After all, revenge is sweet! But most people don’t realize (maybe they do but choose to ignore it anyway) that the sweetness of revenge is temporary but its bitter aftertaste, that’s almost never fail to come, thanks to certain thing called conscience, will be there to stay. Even if it does go away, it will be like a virus that infects and will make everything else bitter as well. Sort of like an epidemic and there’s no antibiotic strong enough to make it go away. As I was saying, it’s always hard to do the right thing. In other words, its hard to be nice. Especially when others has not been so nice to you. It’s just human nature. We’re not angels. Forgive and forget.. It’s a nice concept isn’t it? But honestly, how often does people do that, if any. Tit for tat, eye for eye; isn’t that what they always say. It’s a good concept too, don’t you think? But not if you are at the receiving end, that is.
Revenge is not only sweeter but easier. Just imagine, if someone were to slap you, I bet my bottom dollar that your first instinct is to slap them back. And I’m pretty sure that it would feel good too. In this situation, to be the better person would mean to just walk away. Yeah right… to do that is even harder than to figure out what life means.. (hmm..what’s that suppose to mean??) There is also that very fine line between being the better person and being a pushover or a doormat. To back out or walk-away or whatever does not mean that you lose.. or does it?
There’s a line in the movie Batman Begins that goes, “justice is about harmony, revenge is about you making yourself feel better”. People usually equate revenge with justice. And everybody knows justice is about fairness. But what is fairness? Is it fair that you be nice to someone whom had treated you badly? Isn’t it only fair that they be put through what they have put us through? But I guess, to be the better person does not always mean to be fair to ourselves but it’s simply because it is the right thing to do, no matter how much it hurts. Or how unfair it might seem.

JurisprudencE PapeR...

2005-10-26T04:00:00.000+08:00

I have just sat for my jurisprudence 1 final paper, which is my third last paper. lepas nih ade 2 lagi paper sebelum aku boleh balik umah dan start to get into the raya mood which is just around the corner. walaupun masa yang tinggal lepas exam untuk prepare utk aye sgt singkat, at least aku bersyukur sgt2 sbb mase raye dah tak yah pk pasal xm sbb ade sesetgh uni yg xm lepas rayer. aku rase la. anyway, paper td agak ok la memndangkn yang aku tak penah la pay attention in class apetah lagi amek notes (time kasih kpd jah yg sudi sponsor notes..huhuh). tambahan plak, smalam mmg aku takleh langsung concentrate stadi sepanjang ari (tsk,tsk,tsk ape la nak jadi ngn aku nih? time2 xm la byk plak dugaan) dah mlm dlm kul 9 lbey baru aku start betul2 meng'cover' lbey kurang 11-12 topik yang panjang2 dan memeningkan kepala. dah la paper start kul 9 pagi. pergh..memng aksi berani mati. tapi mmg aku bersyukur sgt2 topik yg aku harap kluar, kluar plak...:D tapi tak tau ah ape yang aku jwb tu ble pakai ke tak kn.. jgn kene repeat dah...

GileR ah...

2005-10-15T03:05:00.000+08:00

OMG!!! aku baru je lepas dapat markah assignment untuk subjek pro practice dan markah itu sgt teruk! tapi aku rase padan la dgn muka aku pasal assignment ty pun aku wat last minute.. hahah. nasib baik markah test belum keluar lagi, kalau tak aku rasa aku mestipengsan sebab aku rasa cam yakin yang markah test aku juga sgt teruk. mungkin lebih teruk dari markah assignment. dah la byk topik kene stadi untuk test tu, nasib tak baik pulak, mase ari test tu aku kene sakit gigi. dah la first time seumur hidup sakit gigi. kene pulak time test. aku rase sebab tu aku tak dapat jawab dgn baik test tu (hahahaha..alasan semata-mata :p) tapi aku yakin, mesti ade hikmah disebalik kejadian tu (dan aku juga percaya, ada hikmah disebalik kejadian sedih yang menimpa aku mase keluar berbuka puasa dgn fesal aritu... :) ) nampaknya, kene la aku skor giler-giler final paper pp nanti...

A DreaM...

2005-09-09T06:02:00.000+08:00

A DreaM...

have you ever had a dream that felt so real smpikn bile korang dah bgn pun tak rase cam mimpi and u really believed that it had really happened? well, just the other night i had that kind of a dream. i dreamt that someone that is really DEAR to me died. i was really sad and the moment i know that that person had passed away, the first thing that i felt was regret. i regretted not saying all that i want to say, not doing what i wanted to do and now it's too late. and my chest hurts so bad. it felt so real that when i woke up, even though i realize that i was lying on my bed, staring up at the ceiling, i was overcome with an overwhelming feeling of sadness at the thought of not being able to see that person ever again. and my chest was really hurting. bile sedar that it was all a dream, a really bad dream, rasa lega sgt2.. tp, knapa aku citer pasal mimpi ni pun aku tak tau... HEHEH :)

OmG... It'S TomorroW...!

2005-08-19T05:56:00.000+08:00

rase cam baru je smalam kitorang start our theater rehersal for festival teater selangor . tapi sebenarnye we've been busting our butts rehersing like crazy for almost 5 weeks and now, the time for us to perform is finally here. tomorrow nite to be exact. it will take place at muzium shah alam at 8.30pm. i'm relieved in a way cuz this means no more late night rehersals for me. its been really fun but so damn tiring that i am having trouble getting up in the morn which leads to me having an extremely hard time staying awake in class esp CP :P and the tone in which Sir abu haniffa delivers the lecture is really not helping either..hohoho. anyway, tho i can't wait to get this over with, rase nervous and takut still ade. and those feelings are getting stronger every second. i just hope me and my friends would be able to give our best and i pray to god that our performance would go smoothly and nicely as we had planned. wish us luck...

I WisH

2005-08-12T13:04:00.000+08:00

how i wish
i could just start walking
and not look back
leaving behind me
all the pain, all the confusion
all the mess, everything
just walk and keep walking
till i feel numb
till i cant walk anymore
till i find a better life
cause running away is easier
so much easier
than to face the music
how i wish
i could do just that
but strange enough
though i dont have enough strength
to go on
i have even less strength
to just run away

UnexpectedlY PleasanT...

2005-08-11T02:55:00.000+08:00

i woke up today feeling really crappy. i was not getting enough sleep, i was tired and yesterday wasn't actually a good day for me. it hasn't been much of a week either. anyway, to make matters worse, there was no electricity this morning so i cant iron my clothes. it was getting late and i don't have anything else to wear. i had to run downstairs to my friend's room, where luckily there was electricity. anyway, we chit-chatted while i was ironing and i'm sure glad we did cuz she told me something that made my day. well, at least my morning. she told me what a friend of ours had said about me to some other people recently. it was something really nice which i hadn't expected him to say or i didn't even think that that was how he felt. whatever it is, i felt really appreciated. it may be nothing to him and to most people, but to me, it really made my day and made me feel appreciated... its amazing what a big impact a small gesture can bring but hey, good things come in small packages... :p

TimE to be SaD...

2005-08-10T04:35:00.000+08:00

a friend of mine said to me once, life's too short to be spent feeling sad. it got me thinking. within the first minute, my first instinct was to agree with it. there are some truth in it. life IS too short and we should make the most out of it and the feeling of sadness doesn't really fit in the picture perfect that most people have of life. i mean, who in their right mind wants to suffer? but then again, doesn't imperfections make life more interesting? i've read of a story of how a young woman wants to commit suicide just because her life is too monotonous. not because she was sad but because there was no excitement of any kind in her life. no happiness nor sadness.
like i said, it got me thinking, is there actually a time to be sad or isn't there a time for it at all? another friend of mine is of the opinion that when you're sad, you're sad. it's neither right nor wrong and there's also no right or wrong reason to be sad. my sister would beg to differ. to her, sure, you're entitled to be sad but not too much. to her, why would you want to make yourself miserable by feeling sad for long. i wonder if this is what my friend meant when he said to me, "why are you still sad today about what happened yesterday. enough is enough". or something like that. i was stumped cuz i've always believed that as long as what happened still bothered me and as long as i still care about what had happened, i would still be sad no matter how long ago it happened. i mean, my mom passed away 8 years ago and i'm still sad though not in an unhealthy way.
yet another friend of mine view the entire thing differently. to her, its not wrong to be sad, but then, get rid of the thing that has made you sad. to her, you don't keep something that makes you miserable cuz its not worth being sad over something not worth being sad over. at least, thats how she feels.
while i was talking with another friend of mine on a matter entirely different from this but somehow managed to find its way towards this issue, she asked me if trying to stay happy or at least trying to appear happy or trying to ignore the fact that you are bothered by something or trying to justify the bad things that happened to you or simply trying not to be sad or trying to ignore the very thing that bothers you altogether is simply being a hypocrite, at least to yourself? i couldn't answer her cuz honestly, i never thought of it that way. but it gives me a new way of looking at it.
after giving it a lot of thought, i still don't have the answer. to me, when something bad happens i might get sad and when i'm sad, i might cry, i would cry though someone said to me once, why would you wanna cry over something? just accept it as a will of God, believe that He has a reason for it and get on with life. of course i believe that but still.. to me, sadness is a feeling. who's to say when and how we should or should not feel what we feel or how we should deal with it.
i honestly don't know. i might be wrong, i might be right. but i believe, there's no right or wrong when it comes to matters of feelings...

ShorT...

2005-07-29T06:44:00.000+08:00

alhamdulillah.. akhirnya, setelah bertungkus-lumus slama 3 hari, aku, puspa dan jah telah berjaya menyiapkan short movie kitorang yang pertama. kire projek eksperimen la nih. dgn berbekalkan kira-kira kurang drpd 5 peratus pengalaman dalam hal2 nih dan dibantu oleh kengkawan yang bes, siapla citer yang bertajuk 'i know what u did last semester - pencuri bersiri' dan dah slamat di'submit' utk compete dalam kaed fest hujung minggu nih. kitorang pun tak meletakkan harapan yg tinggi utk menang, saje je utk suka2 nak test power..hahahah. neway, kitorang agak bangga ngan diri sendiri sbb berjaya mengatasi masalah2 yang muncul secara tak disangka2 mase wat citer nih. nak citer kat sini agak panjang (snanyer segan nak citer..huhuhu) tp mmg klakar walopun mase memula tuh agak memalukan. pape pun, kitorang enjoy. nnt kitorang kasi korang tgk citer tu eh...
eh korang, weekend nih klu takde pape, turun ah kaed n vote citer kitorang... hehhee =p

TreatinG PeoplE...

2005-07-29T06:23:00.000+08:00

Five lessons to make us think about the way we treat people.

1 - First Important Lesson - Cleaning Lady.

During my second month of college, our professor gave us a pop
quiz. I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the questions until I read the last one:
"What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?"
Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the cleaning woman several times.She was tall, dark-haired and in her 50s, but how would I know her name?
I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank. Just before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our quiz grade.
"Absolutely," said the professor. "In your careers, you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care,even if all you do is smile and say "hello." I've never forgotten that lesson. I also learned her name was
Dorothy.

2. - Second Important Lesson - Pickup in the Rain

One night, at11:30 p.m., an older African American woman was standing on the side of an Alabama highway trying to endure a lashing rainstorm.Her car had broken down and she desperately needed a ride. Soaking wet,she decided to flag down the next car. A young white man stopped to help her,generally unheard of in those conflict-filled 1960s. The man took her to safety, helped her get assistance and put her into a taxicab.She seemed to be in a big hurry, but wrote down his address and thanked him. Seven days went by and a knock came on the man's door. To his surprise, a giant console color TV was delivered to his home. A special note was attached..
It read:
"Thank you so much for assisting me on the highway the other night.The rain drenched not only my clothes, but also my spirits. Then you came along. Because of you, I was able to make it to my dying husband's bedside just before he passed away... God bless you for helping me and unselfishly serving others." Sincerely,
Mrs. Nat King Cole.

3 - Third Important Lesson - Always remember those who serve.

In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10-year-old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in front of him."How much is an ice cream sundae?" he asked."Fifty cents," replied the waitress.
The little boy pulled is hand out of his pocket and studied the coins in it."Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?" he inquired.By now more people were waiting for a table and the waitress was growing impatient."Thirty-five cents," she brusquely replied.The little boy again counted his coins."I'll have the plain ice cream," he said.The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on the table and walked away. The boy finished the ice cream, paid the cashier and left. When the waitress came back, she began to cry as she wiped down the table.There,placed neatly beside the empty dish, were two nickels and five pennies..You see, he couldn't have the sundae, because he had to have enough left to leave her a tip.

4 - Fourth Important Lesson. - The obstacle in Our Path.

In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid himselflf and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock.Some of the king's wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed the King for not keeping the roads clear,but none did anything about getting the stone out of the way.Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables. Upon approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road. After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded. After the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the King indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway. The peasant learned what many of us never understand!Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve our condition.

5 - Fifth Important Lesson - Giving When it Counts...

Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at a hospital, I got to know a little girl named Liz who was suffering from a rare & serious disease.Her only chance of recovery appeared to be a blood transfusion from her 5-year old brother, who had miraculously survived the same disease and had developed the antibodies needed to combat the illness. The doctor explained the situation to her little brother, and asked the little boy if he would be willing to give his blood to his sister.I saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a deep breath and saying, "Yes I'll do it if it will save her." As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed next to his sister and smiled, as we all did,seeing the color returning to her cheek. Then his face grew pale and his smile faded.He looked up at the doctor and asked with a trembling voice, "Will I start to die right away?" Being young, the little boy had misunderstood the doctor; he thought he was going to have to give his sister all of his blood in order to save her.

"Work like you don't need the money, love like you've never been hurt,and dance like you do when nobody's watching."

-this msg was forwarded to me thru my email-

PoeM...

2005-07-28T02:47:00.000+08:00

what's mine

choked
by tears
stumbled
by meaningless words
broken
by empty promises
suffocated
by weakness
held back
by fears
all my own